########################################################################## # Don't just read the news...discuss it. Learn more about Goa via Goanet # # Goanet was setup in 1994 and has spent the last decade building a # # lasting Goan non-profit, volunteer-driven network in cyberspace. # # Visit the archives http://www.goanet.org/pipermail/goanet/ # # To join, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED] and ask to join Goanet. # ########################################################################## ODDinary PEOPLE: THE 'FOREVER' FRIENDS
By Reema Kamat You and I have been through so many years together. We have shared our innermost secrets and our most far-out dreams without worrying about being judged or laughed at. We have shared our deepest fears in our most fragile moments. And we can still act really silly and not be embarrassed. We haven’t lost the childlike, innocent trust we've always had in each other. How can I thank you for a friendship that means so very much to me? And so goes a friendship day greeting card gifted by Shobha to Shubhi (aren't their names a sweet harmonising rhythm?) this gone Friendship Day. No points for guessing that the friendship must be really special to them; it is quite evident. Points deducted however, for assuming that they must be a couple of giggly girls in their teens. Giggly they are still, alright. But both Shobha Tarcar, entrepreneur, and Shubhlaxmi Naik, advocate, are adult women into their fifties. Pleasantly surprised, you must be. In an era where most friends do not manage to stretch their amity beyond one misunderstanding, and even self-proclaimed 'friends forever' extinguish the flame over a minor falling-out, this pair of best buds have been friends for a number of years you cannot even count on all your fingers and toes. Forty years. And as they giggle and guffaw, and interrupt each other to chatter nineteen to the dozen, it is obvious that there are so many memories they have to talk about. They do not clearly recall their first meeting, except that it was in the fifth standard, after which of course they were inseparable. Shubhi however insists that their bond stretches over past lifetimes, and from her revelations, it appears that this could very well be true. "We were destined to be friends right from the start. We are born not only in the same year but just two days apart; the difference is not even 48 hours to be precise. Then, we both belong to the families of no sons. Also, not only do our mothers share their year of birth but our husbands share their birth date!" Shobha adds, "Since they day we got together, people have taken us to be sisters, with our names 'Shubhi-Shobha' taken in the same breath." Have they ever fought? "We argue all the time even today, but sportingly; why, even this very morning I playfully chided her over something trivial," says Shobha. But fought, never. Quarrelling is something that just never came to them, they say. "We've never had misunderstandings of any sort because we’ve never had a communication gap." And staying friends for so many years came effortlessly to them -- they just remained together and attached all along. Their sons Krushnan and Rajeev, both 23 now, have been inseparable friends too since childhood. "Perhaps to a certain extent they too, have unconsciously helped us to maintain our closeness and to keep going strong," says Shobha. Even now, the duo spends time with each other on a regular basis taking precious moments out of their hectic lives. What are the things they do together? "We giggle together," is a spontaneous and utterly childlike first retort, after which follows a more solemn and heartfelt "We share our joys and sorrows." They reveal that in the course of so many years, they have never considered it necessary to follow rituals like exchanging gifts; even the Friendship Day card is given by Shobha as a lark, the childishness of which amuses Shubhi to no extent. How do they define friendship? "Friendship is from within. It is an eternal bond between two people, as simple as that. There are moments when I wonder, what would I have ever done without a friend like her by my side," says Shobha fondly. Concludes Shubhi, "There are some relationships that cannot be described, only experienced for yourself. The depth of our friendship, I would say, is beyond comprehension. One would have to be in such a friendship oneself for these many years to understand what we're talking about." ================================================================ Reproduced on Goanet courtesy Panjim Plus [EMAIL PROTECTED] phone 2464687 or 9422058131. Contact Ilidio de Noronha