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... what women mean, when they say :
1. "Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument
when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you
argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER
use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to
have one of those arguments.)
2. "Five minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you
take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.
3. "Nothing"
"Nothing" means something and you should be on your
toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a
woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down,
and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that
will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it
for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset
over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion
that will end with the word "Fine."
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or
"do what you want because I don't care." You will get a
raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five
Minutes" when she cools off.
6. "Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a
verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A
"Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing!."
7. "Soft Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
are one of the few things that some men actually understand.
It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not
move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit
longer.
8. "Oh"
This word-followed by any statement - is trouble.
Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him
about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh"
before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.
She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done
tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her
to talk to you for at least two days. ("Oh" as the lead to
a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie.
Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a
raised eyebrow "Go ahead," sometimes followed by acts so
unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
9. "That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants
to think long and ! hard before deciding what the penalty
will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often
used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction
with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to
plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
10. "Please Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is
giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you
have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into
even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you
shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
11. "Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look
for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."
12. "Thanks A Lot"
"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks."
A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked
off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh." This
signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be
careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as
she will only tell you "Nothing."
;-))
