The George effect ------------- FOOTLOOSE ------------- Derek Almeida -------------
I cannot understand why anyone touching 74 years would want to fly a MiG 21. I always thought people who are lucky to reach that royal age, after surviving speeding cars, bus blasts, stray dogs and cats, chain snatchers and real estate developers, would prefer to spend their time sitting on garden benches eating roasted groundnuts. It's quite obvious, our Defence Minister is not a bench warmer. Instead, he flew in a MiG 21, which, all said and done, is better than sitting at home trying to watch TV through bi-focals. I have no intention of dwelling on George's high risk extra curricular activities. My worry is the spill-over effect of these tendencies on my domestic life. Let me explain. It all started with my elder son, who is a George fan. "Dad, will you test my bicycle before I ride it," he shouted from the outside just when I had settled down for another quite day. "Why do I have to test it," I yelled back (yelling is an art that all fathers pick up from their kids). "George always tests air force jets and I was wondering why you cannot follow his example," he argued. So I went out and had a look at the bike. The steering bar was a little crooked and one pedal was on its last legs. The brakes looked okay, but then you never know until you have to jam them when a mindless stray-dog-in-a-hurry crosses the road. "Why me?" I asked hoping to talk myself out of the dangerous scheme that my son has sprung on me. "I can do it," he said, "but then if I fall and break a leg or rip a knee-cap, you could get into serious trouble with mom." He had a point there. Why would any husband with a modicum of common sense want to risk a domestic skirmish with his wife, especially when he loses all the time. I must say this bicycle test was getting dangerous by the minute. "What if I fall and break my back," I asked him. "In a family, somebody has to make the sacrifices," he shot back. Kids, these days, have all the answers. They give answers even if you don't ask questions. I gave him a sour, sad look hoping he would see the pain I was experiencing. "If you love me, you'll do it," he said testingly. Trapped as I was by a resourceful little boy with an awesome capacity for mind tricks, I said, "Okay, what do I have to do." He was elated. "All you have to do is go up the slope and zip down at 60 km per hour." "Without a gravity suit?" I asked. He did not react. "Wait a minute," I said, "I'll just go in and check if all the premiums on my life insurance are paid." I dashed into the house and went straight to the kitchen for some advise from the woman who had spent years training my son. "What's up with you," my wife inquired, "You look like a broken toy." I was about to explain when she said: "The refrigerator is not cooling fast enough can you stick you hands in and see if they freeze." This wasn't exactly a frying-pan-to-the-fire situation. It was more like a frying-pan-to-the-freezer-via-the-microwave situation. When I failed to react she said: "What's the problem? George spends weekends on the Siachen Glacier without complaining, you know." I now found myself caught between a rock, and a hard place. I had to make a choice. My brain was beginning to heat up which is normal when I have to take simple decisions. Difficult ones usually knock me out. In the end I chose the bicycle test over the freezer experiment and rushed out. I decided to take the problem head on and mounted the bicycle. The seat gave out a loud squeak and two nuts fell off. Fear gripped me. The flood-gates opened and my self-confidence gushed out. I began to waver...the lousy parts of my life flashed before me.....and I passed out. That's how I lived to write this tale. ########################################################################## # Send submissions for Goanet to [EMAIL PROTECTED] # # PLEASE remember to stay on-topic (related to Goa), and avoid top-posts # # More details on Goanet at http://joingoanet.shorturl.com/ # # Please keep your discussion/tone polite, to reflect respect to others # ##########################################################################
