> Obituary > > Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common > Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he > was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He > will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when > to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life > isn't always fair. > > Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more > than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in > charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but > overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy > charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from > school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for > reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even > further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer > aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became > pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. > > Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became > contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better > treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a > woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a > bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement. > > Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his > wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is > survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. > > Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you > still know him pass this on, if not you can give him a second death. > > Too good not to pass on
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