Saddo Ceremony In the northern part of Goa, there is a beautiful ceremony called the Saddo. Saddo is the ceremonial cutting of the cloth, normally flowery red, to be worn by the bride in the house after the wedding. A tiny image of child Jesus is placed on the floor mat where the tailor is sitting with the clothes, at their house and two tiny length wise pieces of clothes are cut by him and placed there in the form of a cross.
To begin with, there is the 'Nomon' in which blessing of God almighty and especially of the virgin Mary, mother of Jesus are invoked in the form of Zot (a special song peculiar to the occasion sung by an expert song-stress). Then each relative, from the nearest to begin with, followed by others to the accompaniment of references to them made in beautiful metaphor in the form of Zotis, walks up to the spot where lies the Infant Jesus and lays his or her offerings of money from Rs2 to Rs10 before the image. Then a piece of betel nut and leaf with calcined lime and some sweets are disturbed to the people present. The elder men are served with liquor, women and children with sweet red wine and soft drinks. The money collected on the occasion is taken by the tailor, apart from his wages. The tailor will later stitch the main wedding dress or gown in milky white colour and other necessary clothes for the bride and near relatives, brides maids etc. The brides gown, ornaments and trousseau are displayed in a special ceremony at which people are invited, and then they are sent to the groom's place for display there. The Hair Cutting Ritual On the day prior to the marriage, the groom is set on a ceremonial stool or chair at home and the barber formerly the family barber, cuts his hair in an appropriate cut. Songs are sung on the occasion and friends and relatives gather to witness it. The barber is paid a handsome remuneration in cash as well as given presents in the form of coconut and a measure of rice and sweet meats. This ceremony is held prior to the bath with coconut-pulp, juice or milk. This ceremony is held among all communities. The bath with coconut pulp: Among Christians, on the evening preceding the wedding day the bride at her place and the groom at his, take a ceremonial bath with coconut pulp-juice or milk. It starts with applying ceremonially to the accompaniment of special verses called Zotis, peculiar to the occasion, sung by trained women. On the head or a part of the body of the bride or groom, clad in bathing dress, at his /her own place, a tumbler full or cup full of juice extracted from coconut-shredded pulp kept in a pot is applied, by relatives in a proper order of priority, followed by friends. This is done first, out side the bathing room, in the hall. The second part of the bathing ceremony consists of a bath with water possibly warm in the bathing room, again in a ceremonial manner, with songs being sung in a group. After bathing with a tumbler of water, a few coins are dropped into the pot of water, kept for the purpose. All the money dropped into the pots is taken by the maids who helped or were called for preparing the bath water and coconut pulp juice. Hindus too have a similar bath but not so elaborate. They have an additional application of turmeric (halad) and oil on the body of the bride. Among Muslims, this practice does not exist. The Beggar's Lunch Among Christians, a lavish feast called the Beggar's lunch or Bhick Reamfevon is held a day or two before the wedding day, preferably on a Tuesday. Seven or nine poor people, both men and women are invited to a sumptuous lunch with pork, beef, fish, rice and a curry of a special type called 'samrachi koddi'. They squat on the floor mat and specially prepared jack fruit tree leaves, well plaited into plates, are placed before them into which food is served or ladled out by the bride and groom at each one's place of residence. The intention behind the service is to feed and satisfy the ancestors on this important occasion in their house through the medium of these beggars. Coconut oil is also given for their hair and a bidi or cigarette, according to the preference expressed by them. They are also given a sweet dish of gram dal and soji a sweet composed of wheat preparation and bananas. Instead of coconut-feni, a sweet wine could also be served to them. Wedding Ceremony Wedding in Goa do not take place on Thursdays and Fridays in the normal course. On the wedding day, the groom's sister and another close relative go with the brides dress and assorted materials and dress her up at her residence. The wedding ceremony of Goa is same as all over the world. There will be a wedding dance function in the hall. After the dance function is over, the whole group or part of it that remains to the end. The groom's side cross over a line of demarcation, imaginary but conventionally drawn called 'shim' (literally, boundary line in Konkani), the brides guests remaining on the hither side of the boundary. The boundary being normally the place where the roads going towards the residence of the parties, part from each other in a fork. Here a prayer is said and wishes expressed for the prosperity and happiness of the married couple. Some liquor from a bottle brought by the grooms or bride's people, is taken in little cupfuls by those present and without crossing the boundary line. At this time of pouring the liquor the shim should not be crossed, until this brief ritual is over. Later one or two relatives from the bride's side come and cross the 'shim', to formally invite the bridal couple to the bride's place which in Konkani is called 'Apovnnem' (invitation) for the return of the couple on the next day for what is known as the Portovnnem (ceremonial return). This practice of pouring the liquor and observing the shim is being given up now. Among the Hindus, at both houses the priest is called and he performs the 'punnyavaham' and 'nandhishradha' readings in the presence of the groom/bride and their parents. Then oil and turmeric is applied after which they take bath from a barrel of water placed there for the purpose. Married women with husbands living (sovashnni) go with oil and turmeric from bride to groom and from groom to bride. The wedding ritual is held at the bride's place where the maternal uncle takes the lead in the ceremonies. At the groom's place, the groom's married sister ties the wedding turban called the bashing. Then the marriage procession sets out, with the sister of the groom carrying with herself, a pot with leaves of mango on which is placed a coconut. Another sister carries a wicker basket with a lighted lamp. They are followed by the groom in his full regalia. He is received at the bride's place ceremonially and led into the marriage chamber where the religious ceremony is performed by the priest. Among the Christians, the day following that of the wedding, at the groom's place there is a brief ceremony of wearing the bangles at the home by the bangle-vendor of the village. They are put on the wrist of the bride. The vendor is later given a coconut, a measure of rice and payment in cash for his services. At the groom's place, in the morning following the wedding day, a session of ceremonial blessing in kind is held. In that session, close relatives, from the mother-in-law of the bride on wards give presents normally in the form of gold ornaments to her. This was being done earlier, to the accompaniment of songs, verses and prayers. Later around lunch, the bride and groom with a small retinue of close relatives go to the brides place. They are received at the bride's place and there may be a dance or simply a litany (ladin) in thanks giving and a small get together and service of drinks and food. At the bride's place in Goa, at this time there is also the 'folle-fevonn' a sumptuous luncheon for close relatives. After this luncheon, the bride and groom among the upper class, used to go, sitting in a machila (palanquin) led by boias (bearers) along with a red coloured rush-mat or floor-mat with a 'vojem', a parcel of sweet meats, bananas etc. to accompany them to the groom's place of residence. Among the Sudras, on the day following the wedding day, a group of masked friends from the groom's side comes to the bride's place along with their retinue. They sing songs and wash the feet of the bridal couple who tip them liberally. A ceremony called 'Tollvar' sitting was held consisting of kurponn (mat of bamboo placed on the pot of rice while draining water from it) and turbaned men would approach the married couple with salt and chillies and say some incantations so as to take away the evil eye from the couple. After this they went through the movements of shaving the bride groom. There was another Tollvar sitting at the bride's place at the time of the return of the bride to her place in the Portovnnem (ceremonial return). Among the Hindus, after the bride becomes a part of the grooms household by virtue of her marriage to him, a ceremony is held to welcome her into the fold of his (husband's) gotra, in a ritual called Gotraint haddop. The bride has to show a lit lamp before eight people, all from the groom's side. She has also to offer them ghee, bananas and snacks. Before leaving for the groom's place, five couples along with the bride and the groom are seated and rice is thrown on them in a ceremony called 'Sensorbhorp'. Among the Christians, all the elders of the house gave ornaments or cash as presents to the new son-in-law. The girl would be given things necessary to set up her new household like mattresses, pillows etc. After the marriage ceremony is over, the groom with his bride has to sit on the mattress and get himself acquainted with all the elders of his in- laws. The bride's handicrafts, trousseau, jewel box etc. would then be displayed for all to see and then sent to her in-laws. After the ghar-pravesh (entry of the bride to the groom's house) there used to be a programme of giving a fresh name to the new bride. The groom had to write the proposed name for the bride by his own fingers in the rice grains from a stand proffered to him. Such a practice is on the wane now. FAMILY ORGANISATION The concept of marriage as a sacrament and that too monogamous in nature is very much the norm among both the Hindus and Christian in Goa. It is a social contract among the Muslims. In Goa, the family organisation is basically elementary or nuclear in character. The break-up and separate residence for the new couple may begin after the marriage of the subsequent sons. The other sons staying outside in a nuclear family of their own are called virilocal. When one of the son continues to stay with his new family in his father's house after his marriage, the household is called patrilocal. Parents in their old age may take up residence with one of their married sons. Ghor-zanvoim is the case in which the son-in-law of the house, who resides matrilocally, being adopted into the house of his in-laws in the event of his marrying the daughter of the house, if she is the only child or the one chosen for such an alliance. For any important decision to be taken in the interest of the family in the matter of education of a higher nature or a marriage alliance, all the members advise and come or rather co-operate to bring into fruition. Respect for the elders is very strong in all the communities. The eldest male of the family, generally the father, is the head of the family and in his absence, the mother officiates in that position. -- Cheers, Gabe Menezes. London, England