Dear GoaNetters,
I am posting the following personal message on GoaNet with the consent of
the party for the benefit of all:
Moi-mogan,
Domnic Fernandes
Anjuna/Dhahran, KSA
====================
Hi Juliet!
First of all, please accept my heartiest congratulations in advance on your
daughter's wedding in August! Secondly, it is great to know that though in
America, you would like to follow Goan custom. Hats off to you Juliet for
keeping up Goan culture and traditions in a foreign land!
Here is the information you asked for:
As soon as the bride is dressed up and before she proceeds to the car to go
to church to attend the nuptials, she is made to stand "ghorchea altara
mukar" (in front of home altar) for Bessanv. Please do not forget to light
the candles at the altar.
In the olden days, until the early 1960's, the only photo that was taken on
the auspicious day, was a wedding photo that, too, in a studio. But today,
the camera and video man arrive at a bride's place well in advance and begin
to click photos and video film right from the time the bride begins to dress
up. The clicking and filming continues in the church and ends up in the
reception hall. Times have really changed, Juliet!
In Goa, besides relatives and friends, neighbors from the ward also come to
give Bessanv to the "okol" because she was a part of the community from her
childhood until she grew up. Now that she chose a life time partner, she
has to leave the place and shift to her husband's! Therefore, the neighbors
feel it is their duty to wish her last good-bye as a spinster; hence, they
join in the last farewell wish to the bride along with her parents,
relatives and friends.
In Goa, it is still a fashion to give a gift to the bride mostly in the form
of cash which is placed in bride's hand along with Bessanv. In the olden
days, people placed chear annem, att annem or one rupee coins; some old
folks still place 50 paise or 1 rupee coins and so do children. Nowadays,
it is mostly bills - Rs.50, 100 or 500; seldom, people place a Rs.5 or 10
bill. Relatives and friends from far away places who do not wish to return
to the house after the nuptials or will not be present for the reception,
hand in their gifts at Bessanv.
There are no special prayers at Bessanv before the bride leaves for the
church. However, here is the order of blessing as I recall:
1) The parents - father followed by mother
2) The grandparents - grandfather followed by grandmother
3) The eldest brother and his wife, if married, followed by other brothers
and their wives
4) The sisters and their husbands
5) Brothers' children - beginning from the oldest to the youngest
6) Sisters' children - beginning from the oldest to the youngest
7) Uncles and aunts - paternal followed by maternal
8) Cousins beginning with the first and followed by the second, third,
etc.
9) Bride's relatives - beginning with the eldest and followed by the
youngest
10) Elderly neighbors followed by other neighbors
11) Friends in general
I hope the above information serves you.
Best regards,
Domnic Fernandes
From : Juliet De Souza <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent : Wednesday, February 1, 2006 8:05 PM
To : [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject : wedding blessing rites
Hi Dominic,
As always I enjoy reading your articles on Goa News,
your recent one about the radio brought back fond
memories. I wanted to ask you a favor. My daughter is
getting married in August, the boy is American and we
love him, we would like to incorporate our timeless
Goan traditions into the wedding and I know that we
give the Bensao to the girl when she is all dressed
and ready to go to Church, could you tell me a little
more about the rite and if there are any special
prayers that are said and besides the father and
mother, who else does it, my daughter is all for it
and thinks it would be beautiful, any help you can
give will be appreciated. Recad tuca.
Juliet from Los Angeles
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