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http://www.goa-world.com/expressions/xmas/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ We, together with our fly Hazards of designing wedding invitations By Cecil Pinto There was a time in my varied and colourful career graph when, among other things, I used to be involved in designing and printing of wedding invitations. It was a very short period. I learnt fast and I learnt well, and I vowed to myself that I would rather sell wax replicas of limbs, babies and houses in Old Goa than ever go back to designing wedding invitations. A bit of background first on Goan Catholic weddings. The traditional trend is changing and there are honourable exceptions, but overall a marriage is not between just two individuals, nor is it just two families that will be joined together. It is two entire clans. And sometimes, just because both parties belong to the same clan does not mean there will be any less hazards. Intra-clan disputes are as complicated, if not more than, inter-clan disputes. I use the word clan here because of the lack of a better word to describe the lovely Konkani term 'daiji'. Your fellow daiji could be from beyond your immediate family but is of the same lineage. So when Brenda Fernandes from Assagao is due to be betrothed to Kevin D'Souza from Moira it doesn't matter if it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage. All the daijis in the extended Fernandes and D'Souza families will have an opinion regardless of their current closeness or physical location. But before this becomes a socio-cultural essay lets get back to wedding invitations. Names have been changed to protect the identity of the daijis that made my life miserable but this example is typical of so many others that made me give up designing wedding invitations - to protect my sanity. Brenda turns up at my office as she has heard, through a mutual friend, that I'm quite good at designing invitations. Like every to-be bride I've met she wants her wedding to be uniquely different and special. "Money is not a problem", they all say, a sentiment unfortunately not always mirrored by the groom, or father, who is paying for the do. Brenda has a very clear idea of what her wedding invite should be like. None of the standard pre-printed stuff for her. She has brought along a sort of dummy that she handcrafted herself. The theme as such will be a House and a Well and photos of the faces of the bride and groom floating above in heart shaped clouds. The significance of the Well is another topic for another day. "And why is this piece of satin material stapled on to your dummy card", I ask. "That is a sample of the dress material that the flower girls will be wearing", replies Brenda, "The wall of the Well should be the same shade of maroon as this cloth." "Oh!", I say as I realize that it's going to be a long, long day. A week later, after multiple visits and a lot tweaking in PhotoShop and CorelDraw, the invitation is exactly what Brenda wants. To me it resembles a ghastly kitschy nightmare but hey, the client is always right. I give Brenda a colour print to show her mother, just naam ke vaaste of course. After all Brenda who makes all the decisions. It so happens that Brenda's cousin Sylvia, who works in a graphic design firm in London, as a receptionist actually, is due to arrive in Goa next week. So they decide to delay a few days for Sylvia's qualified opinion. Sylvia the receptionist is quite gladdened by the attention and suggests major changes with the authority of a pro. She may not know anything technically but she sure knows the language of designing and printing. I guess from evesdrooping on client conversations, she sure looks the type Three visits later the card matches Sylvia's and Brenda's expectations, and is even more crowded as a result, with a rainbow and some bells having been incorporated. Kevin's mother is passing through Panjim so Brenda decides to bring her to my office to see the work in progress. Mrs. D'Souza almost blows a fuse when she says that Sylvia's name is before her son's, and thus correspondingly their family name and address too at the bottom of the card, has been relegated to the right. In the ensuing argument I try to intervene, "Isn't it ladies first?" Nobody pays me any attention and decibel and stress levels escalate in my tiny office. "Ladies, ladies ", I plead to no avail. Three days later a compromise has been reached. 300 cards will have the D'Souzas first and 300 cards will have the Fernandes first. The D'Souza cards will have "No presents please" at the bottom as they feel the fourth wedding in a rich family such as theirs can forgo cheap presents. For the Fernandes' on the other hand this is the first wedding of this generation and presents are sure to flow, and are most welcome. And of course the D'Souzas want "& fly" to be printed whereas the Fernandes want the option of writing, or not writing, that part themselves. Specially considering Romalin Aunty who brings along not just her entire joint family but also any visting relatives. And of course Brenda's folks wanted their ancestral house address to be printed instead of their actual new house address. I think the reasoning was the old address better showed off their lineage. I am privy only to discussions taking place in my office. How much more the invitation has been dissected and modified and remodified in their respective homes is a mind boggling thought. All was well and I was set to send the whole job to the printers when one day in walks Brenda with a handsome young man who I immediately recognized, a pretty girl, a disheveled looking young guy with a pony tail and a huge man with a goatee beard. "You know Kevin", she gushes, "and this is his sister Gracy who works in Advertising in Mumbai and would like to have a look at the card. And this is Sanjay who is making the thermacol centre-piece. He will explain to you how the Hosue and Well now have to be modified to look like what he has fabricated. Dimi here is doing the catering and we will be having ice carvings of swans. So there should be some swans in the card too. And " It is at this precise moment that I finally flipped my lid and told all of them to get out of my office - permanently! I no longer design wedding invitations. Period. If you see me in Old Goa selling wax replicas of limbs, babies . --------- The column above appeared in Gomantak Times dated 14th December 2006 ===== -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.409 / Virus Database: 268.15.19/587 - Release Date: 12/14/2006 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Goanet supports BMX, the alumni network of Britto's, St Mary's and Xavier's -- three prominent institutions in Mapusa, Goa. Events scheduled from Dec 16 to 21, 2006 For more details visit http://www.bmxgoa.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------