One fine evening on FM Radio He's got a ticket to ride, and he don't care By Cecil Pinto
"Welcome to Rainbow FM from the studios of All India Radio, Panjim. This is Sachin Chatte with our special guest, Cecil Pinto." "You didn't prefix RJ to your name?" "I don't call myself RJ Sachin. It sounds so arrogant. Like DJ Vijay. It's not like I'm a doctor or a lawyer who had to study for many years to qualify for the prefix." "Quite frankly Sachin, I think even doctors and lawyers who introduce themselves as Doctor So-and-so or Advocate So-and-so are vain little twerps." "Yo! Let's get this show rolling." "Porto yo, Sachin?" "What?" "I said 'Come again, Sachin' in Konkani. 'Yo' means come. Like in 'Yo baile yo', the classic Lorna –Chris song which was re-written for that fab Nike cricket commercial." "Wow! I've been saying "Yo!" for years and didn't know its Konkani origins. Thanks Cecil. Aha! We have our first caller. Hello! Hello! I can't hear you. Please speak louder." "Sachin, you RJs can never seem to hear the callers. And we listeners too can barely hear them. With modern technology can't this perennial problem be solved?" "We're live on air Cecil, be careful what you say. Hello Farell from Fatorda. Nice to hear your voice. How are you and your sister Flavia? What request do you have? A dedication? Ok. This goes out for regular callers Patrick, Joe Boy, Vincy, Naseem, Daphny, Kim, Neeta, Minni and Schubert." "Bloody regular callers, wishing each other all the while. I think there are just about three dozen people who listen to FM and keep wishing each other." "Please Cecil we're online. And no Farell, I don't have Billy Joel's Innocent Man but I will play the Bebo Song for you. "Most of the time you RJs play just what you want. I've heard that Bebo Song twenty nine times this week. What's so great about frogs? Tell me Sachin is the chronological age of your callers smaller, or their mental age? They seem to be juvenile…" "Hey Cecil! Give me back that mike. Oye you can't do that! Oye!" "Good eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevening Goa. This is RJ Cecil and I'm going to play what I bloody well want to play, and if you squeaky voiced callers don't like it you can just shut off your cheap FM radios and get back to your 'dhirios' for entertainment." "Cecil I will be fired. Please don't…" The next song goes out from the Congress Party to Churchill Alemao, the Jim Reeves classic, He'll Have to Go. "…. Though love is blind, make up your mind, we've got to know…" For Francisco D'Souza from Mapusa we have Hotel Mandarin. Oops! I mean The Eagles with Hotel California. "…Last thing I remember, I was, running for the door. I had to find the passage back, To the place I was before…" Next online we have Dayanand Narvekar with a request for the Madonna hit, "…This used to be my playground, This used to be our pride and joy, This used to be the place we ran to, That no one in the world could dare destroy…" Yes Ravi Naik we have your song, The Boxer, by Simon & Garfunkel, "…I am just a poor boy though my story's seldom told, I have squandered my resistance for a pocketful of mumbles such are promises. Still lies and jest and a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. Lie-la-lie, lie-la-lie-la-lie, Lie-la-lie, lie-la-lie-la-la-la-la-lie…" Our next caller is Jeetendra Deshprabhu from Pernem. Sorry Jeetu, tonight's retro-night so we can't play any Rave music for you. No House music either. Sure I know the Rave party is at your House. No drugs either. Ok. How about this classic, "Green Green Grass of Home", by Tom Jones? Wilfred D'Souza, welcome to radio FM. Sorry Doc prefixes don't matter here. You're Willy to us. The Beatles, with "When I'm Sixty-four". What? Can't hear you clearly. You crossed seventy-four many years back?! Atanasio Monserrate? Yo Babush! Lovely to have you on our show. We have for you Abba with "Money, money, money". "…All the things I could do, If I had a little money, It's a rich man's world…"
From Santa Cruz we have Victoria Fernandes calling. This re-worked
song goes out for you Maaaaameeee! From the Eagles, "…There's talk on the street, its there to remind you, That it doesn't really matter which side you're on. You're walking away and they're talking behind you. They will never forget you till somebody new comes along. Jenny come lately, new kid in town…" Folks you're not going to believe who our next caller is: Pratapsingh Rane himself. Let's keep one second silence in total irreverence. Good eeeeeevening Seeeee Yemmm! A new song for Vishvajeet and a new generation of Ranes. The Beatles with "…Here comes the son, here comes the son, And I say it's all right, it's all right. Son, son, son, Here he comes…" Who's calling from Vasco? Rajendra Arlekar! Welcome aboard. We have the Moody Blues for you, "…Nights in bright saffron, never reaching the end. Letters are written, never meaning to send." Letters with false signatures. Aha! We're joined by the man himself, Manohar Parrikar. I have just the song for you by Boney Nem, "…Ramaya Bokuko Ramaya abantu Ramaya, Miranda tumbala, Ho Ho Ho, Ramaya bokuko Ramaya abantu, Ramaya Mitumbala…" Don't what it means, but you can't go wrong with Rama when the BJP's involved. Ok a song for you as an individual? How about Frank Sinatra's I Did It My Way, "Regrets? I've had a few, But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do, And saw it through without exemption. I planned each charted course - Each careful step along the byway, And more, much more than this, I did it my way." Filipe Rodrigues gets Paul Anka's I Don't Like to Sleep Alone, and yes Joaquim Alemao we have Bee Gees belting out , "…You think that I don't even mean, A single word I say, It's only words, and words are all I have…" A special request for ex-Speaker Vishwas Satarkar, Nowhere Man, by the Beatles, "… doesn't have a point of view, knows not where he's going to…" Mickey Pacheco calling now, requesting Queen, "…Yes I'm the great pretender, Just laughing and gay like a clown…" And now a special requests from the ticket aspirants, Mauvin Godhino asks for It's Now or Never by Elvis Presley. Dinanath Tarcar wants the Carpenters classic, "…Please Mr. Postman look and see, is there a ticket, a ticket for me...". Suresh Paraulekar wants Lobo with Goodbye Is Just Another Word. "Oye Sachin! Help me yaar. Why these police are shutting things down. Oye they're handcuffing me. Sachin! Yaaar, they're carrying me away! My last song request is for myself, the Beatles with , "…Help me get my feet back on the ground, Won't you please, please help me?..." --------- The column above appeared in Gomantak Times dated 22nd March 2007 ======
