ADOPTION IS AN OPTION BY CHOICE The union of marriage is the seed for the family tree. The same sex marriages, live in marriages frustrate the purpose. There is increasing selfishness, lack of responsibility and commitment to the goal of marriage and starting a family. The liberation of women, career consciousness do not often favour family as a priority beyond comforts in relationship.
Legal enforcement of marriageable age of girls and boys, banning of child marriages and free education to girls is another factor limiting the size of family. Do not be surprised, if liberated women set pre conditions in marriage to the norm of one child. Late marriages due to Education, and professional ambitions naturally limit the offspring’s. The nuclear family trend of one child or two as mandated by the Govt also exists as a limitation. The intentions of the parents to give them the best in life education, and better standards of living drives nuclear family status .The disincentive for grass roots political participation with more than two children are in vogue. It is extremely rare these days to see a large family with 6 to 12 children. In prelibation period, Govt allotted food provisions for such large families and thus served as the incentive. It is mostly in poor families there is an increase in the number of children, as the financial, living and health conditions ensure survival of a family member to adulthood .The trend among rich and wealthy is natural to restrict the family .Certain religious minorities seem to have large families due to personal marriage laws. Govt also restricts such large families due to fear of demographic changes, which may alter population ratios There are medical conditions in both partners to bear children. Science has advanced to afford in vitro fertilization at a cost and on demand. The surrogacy trend is also an option for infertile couples. Surprisingly some rich and famous have adopted the surrogacy procedure to add to the family number and eyebrows have been raised in the society. Many foreigners seek a cheap and convenient route to bearing children in India to avoid the rigours of childbirth. Adoption to infertile couples is an option and only choice to have a family. In Catholic community adoption is not allowed and so also in same sex marriages. There is also restriction on unwed, single mothers to adopt, though some exceptions are visible. Some celebrities are renowned to have adopted children of different Nationalities .Govt of India has stringent laws for adoption by foreigners due to various abuses, ill-treatment of such individuals. These cases are being monitored and security deposits are ensured for the welfare of adopted, if need arises. In India if after adoption the child is born in the family, then the situation alters. The adopted child does not inherit the family name and benefits may be restricted. If the child adopted is the only one, then he/she stands to benefit. Adoption is not merely to ensure protection to parents in old age, it is also an opportunity to someone for a better life. Many a couple are reluctant to adopt due to family status, customs traditions and stigma of social pressures. Nowadays there are licensed, regulated center’s for adoptions. Earlier children born of unwed mothers, abandoned children, children sold by poor families for income were some sources for adoption. The identity of biological parents are not disclosed and there is no bar to the religious background of the adopting parents per se, The adoption is normally preferred of girls and exceptionally boys, may be due to personal security and reliability and trustworthiness. They are given in marriages and well settled and do not serve primarily as protectors, guardians in old age. Many are bestowed with all rights and privileges and treated as family members in all respects, well-educated and cared for. At times they behave more responsible in comparison to biological offspring’s The social barriers to adoption are melting down. Adoptions are a norm not only in case of infertility, but also otherwise. Marriages of adopted girls in the past harboured social stigma, but education, professionalism has altered the status of adopted girls in particular to be more acceptable. The adoption centres give them the best of education, love ,care, employment avenues, let them retain their incomes and also enable, arrange suitable partners in life. Girls at one point of time were considered a burden on the family for expenses related to marriages, Govt has strict provisions on dowry demands. Girl’s education is free. Dowry deaths within 7 years of marriage are thoroughly investigated by the Magistrate. Child marriages are banned, sex determination and also female foeticide by abortion. Govt. also provides for regulated expenses related to marriages, mass marriages that reduce expenses. The employment opportunities, promotion of self-employment through Mahila groups, reservations for women ensure financial independence of girls making them self-reliable. Trafficking of girls is a curse and abduction and forceful marriages, Consent of the girl is no more taken for granted, Women organizations undertake all types of issues connected with their welfare, safety and rights, . Even women police stations, and female investigators are in place It is unfortunate that the ratio of male to female is adverse amongst many Nations. The discrimination in appointments, wage parity continues to haunt women of the world Adoption of females is here to stay, whether due to infertility, or other reasons . Acceptability by the society makes it less cumbersome due to integration in the family as the rightful member with all facilities. Adoption is a new hope, a chance to someone for a better life, home and parental love to care for Nelson Lopes Chinchinim