Flossy Is Worthy of Praise

The day we are born, there is no fixed plan laid out for our lives. Neither
do parents possess a definite blueprint for what their child will become. A
newborn is like an empty book, waiting to be written. A lady once remarked
sarcastically to the inventor of the electric motor, “What use is a newborn
baby?” Yet life unfolds in all its splendour as we move forward. It is our
determination, perseverance, and effort that shape who we become.

There is nothing immodest in celebrating one’s own achievements. Why should
anyone feel hesitant to feel elated, honoured, or recognised for rightful
accomplishments? The craving to achieve and the desire to excel are
hallmarks of successful souls. Such recognition not only propels them to
greater heights in their chosen fields but also serves as a beacon of
inspiration for others to carve out a niche for themselves.

Too often, lavish praise is showered formally only after death. Writing on
a tombstone means nothing to the departed—it will never be read by them.
Yet we faithfully continue this tradition through obituaries, garlands,
flowers, framed photographs, memorial awards, and charitable acts in their
name. I have often been questioned for instituting awards under a Trust in
honour of the living, as if it were a scandalous sacrilege. This criticism
has not deterred me from breaking conventions or from thinking differently
and acting obliquely against rigid traditions.

At times, the depth of emotional outpouring after a demise is difficult to
comprehend, except as an attempt to overcome guilt arising from delayed
appreciation. Coffins are drowned in mountains of wreaths and bouquets,
when a single flower offered on a birthday could have elevated spirits and
brought a genuine smile. What a philosophy it is to offer Eucharistic
Masses only after death—as though the living do not require grace for good
health and happiness.

Relatives and friends travel across continents to pay their so-called
respects, yet a casual, courteous visit when the person was alive would
have been eagerly awaited and warmly cherished. Instead, we visit the
bereaved family to express solidarity and condolences. Often, crowds of
unexpected mourners appear merely to be seen, without true remorse. Such
face-saving sentiment neither uplifts emotions nor reflects genuine
gratitude. We have been conditioned to believe that all salutations must be
reserved for death.

One of my colleagues once expressed deep anguish, wondering who would write
about him after his passing, as he was a common man known only within a
small circle. His wife, children, and friends, he felt, were too busy to
spare the luxury of such meaningful courtesies. Professional writers, he
observed, bend over backwards to portray only the rich, powerful, and
famous. True to my promise, and in all humility, I published a booklet of
poems celebrating and remembering his life and contributions. He assured me
he would do the same for me—though fate decided otherwise.

It is not a futile thought that the living must be honoured to maximise
their efforts in contributing vigorously to the betterment of humanity.
Nothing immortalises a person through self-glorification; it is sacrifice
for others that endures. As Bob Marley aptly said, “The dead are important
for their legacies, but the living are more important.” And indeed, living
for others is the true path to longevity.

A long life is a blessing when it is spent spreading good through
sacrifices of time and effort for society. No matter how precious we are to
family and friends, with the passage of time we fade from their
consciousness. This forgetting is natural and inevitable—and should be
accepted without regret. Do we remember our grandparents or
great-grandparents in detail? Even our parents may be distant memories to
future generations. Eventually, certificates alone remain as references to
genealogy.

Yet, a modest record of our existence should remain—without prompting or
excessive display—for the benefit of future generations who may seek to
understand the family tree from which they originate.

Nelson Lopes
Chinchinim
Nelson Lopes
Chinchinim
https://lopesnelsonnat.wordpress.com

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