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GOAN FRAUD?
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Timely Humor
REPORT 1:
Ugly Illegal NRI Constuction in Goa
It has come to the notice of ex-President Pandurang Fernandes that a
non-resident Indian (NRI) has started an ugly illegal construction project in
Goa. He is erecting pornographic columns in Herald without Panchayat license,
using cheap material to trample on Goans. This NRI is a popot who migrates from
place to place in search of freedom and free rides. I am told that he is an
African grey popot who migrated to the cold climes of North America when the
climate got too hot for him in Africa. He now camouflages himself as a Mexican
popot named Falsis Fraudriguez hiding from those who might want to catch him
and put him behind bars.
Falsy Fraudriguez is a sneaky macho like Speedy Gonzalez with the tawdriness
and toupee of the other popinjay, Rod Blagojevich. He is every bit like Cocky,
the female popot, which explains his phallic fixation. As a showy popot, all
his output is a cheap imitation of others. He uses low quality materials in all
his fraudulent construction projects. The fabricated phallic columns do not
hold together under their own weight. Like the singsong Malaika malarkey he
produces in different forms, his substandard constructions have nothing to do
with Goa, even though they occupy Goan space. The latest illegal encroachment,
however, is worse than anything we have seen so far. The sloppy construction is
an embarrassing flop. The columns are so floppy that no amount of concrete
enhancement or reinforcement would help. They deface the Goan literary
landscape and defile the reputation of Goans who stand erect and upright
without fixating on phallic objects, and hiding
under the skirts of fictitious cyber-fems, such as Isabel Joanes and Waylusha.
That is why as part of the Pandurang Project, Ex-President Pandurang Fernandes
has just floated a new deconstruction business to demolish the filthy columns
as soon as they are erected in his front yard. The name of this non-submergible
business is PCA Fernandez and Company. It is a globetrotting company registered
in the independent republics of Chimbel and Missingona, where the popot has
gone missing most recently. The deconstructing machinery is designed to also
track down all the assumed names, fake IDs and imaginary friends that are
absconding from different places. A full report of the company's activities
will be published in Herald in the humor section in a timely manner.
Sooner or later the popot will be put behind the bars in Chimbel, both of which
are now run by President Pandurang. No more free feni for Falsy Fraud!
The popot will pay.
Cheers,
Santosh
