http://www.manoramaonline.com/cgi-bin/mmonline.dll/portal/ep/classifiedContentView.do?catName=Matrimonial%2BRelated%2BNews&contentId=678621&programId=1073753221&mainName=Matrimonial&contentType=EDITORIAL&BV_ID =@@@ *Struck by Cupid¿s arrow* Manu P. Toms It could be beyond the reality to say that Kerala society is shedding its conventional cocoon. Still, the writing on the wall, as far as the marital affairs concerned, suggests a slow but perceptible shift from the conservative rigid psychological frame work that never allowed interreligious marriages to a more liberal and open approach to such cases that happen in close familial environment. A firm no from parents, strong disapproval of the society with its deeply embraced religious intolerance, a difficult future as being let down by the familial support system and unnumbered complexities entwined with the social customs... Every things fades into past.
Why the notice boards of the subregistrar offices in the local townships see a plethora of HinduChristian, MuslimHindu or ChristianMuslim marriage notifications? Why do we these days attend more such weddings and see ceremoniously wedded interreligious couples blessed by both of their parents? For an observer it throws up a number of questions. Does the change signal a society’s growing disenchantment towards religious dogmas or do the wellwoven family structures begin to lose their influence on the new generation? When you look closer you would see people at large are as religious as they used to be and the families continue to be closeknit and protective. Then where does this largely rural society find space to accommodate this ‘cosmopolitan phenomenon’ of mixed marriages? Ask happily wedded young couple and their parents who backed their children with a “no problem." For Preethesh Babu and Grancy Stephen, their marriage got off as an arranged wedding. Grancy met Preethesh at Kerala University Campus where both of them were post graduate students. Neither Grancy’s traditional Christian background nor Preethesh’s being Hindu stood in the way of these left wing student leaders’ passions for each other. “But one thing both of us were determined of was we would first get decent jobs and stand independent. Ours was not like a teenage romantic affair. we were serious and we had a sense of purpose”, say Preethesh and Grancy. Preethesh, now public relations officer of ONGC and Grancy, legal officer with Reserve Bank had a grand wedding reception at Preethesh’s house. Finally, everybody is happy as in a delightful Malayalam romantic movie. Over to Preethesh’s father K.Chandrasekhara Babu I.A.S., state Employment and Training Department director : “When my wife told me about our son’s wish to marry a Christian girl I had some problem at the moment. Then I thought it could be my selfishness. I did not want my son to be isolated for the decision he took. We backed him fully. The girl’s family also was very positive. We talked over phone, had visits to each other’s houses and planned the wedding with the conditions acceptable to both the families." The examples suggest that it is not weak family ties that goad the youngsters to defy the traditional marital concepts but the intimate relations between parents and children in nuclear families. Parents cannot afford to hurt their children by turning down their passionate desire. “My parents consented my wish to marry Ranjith as they did not want to pain me. Their only problem was how to convince the relatives. For his family religion was a nonissue,” saysCarmel Christy from Cochin who is a subeditor with New Indian Express, Hyderabad whose husband Ranjith Thankappan is a junior research fellow at Hyderabad Central University. They fell in love during their student days. Yet, you might be thinking this religionnomatterweddings as an urban trend which is limited within city dwellers. Cut to a hilly village, Karthikapuram in Kannur district. When K.J.Chacko and Mary in this remote village came to know that their eldest daughter Seema is in love with their neighbour Ayyappan Nair's son Sajith there was no eruption of anger nor any emotional hubbub. They took the matter up with the neighbour's family and one chosen fine day all of them went to the subregistrar office and made it official. "Why should we stand against their will? After all, it is her choice and she can't blame us for having imposed our choice on her. And we know the boy and his family. They are good people," responds Mary. "My parents virtually had a hell when I spoke my mind to them. They couldn't just digest the thought that I am marrying a Hindu girl. But my uncles intervened and got everything O.K. Recently we flew back home and I took Reshma to my parents in Wayanad. They were quite eager to welcome her," says Appumon Joseph, a copy editor with Quarks at Mohali. He also got his wife Reshma Gopinath whom he met at their former workplace a job in the same organization. So long as the couple find an adequate living the problems would look easier to solve, the examples verify. Still it leaves more questions than answers? Especially when the question of individual's belief system crops up. Ramachandra Babu who has a Christian daughterinlaw can explain: "We go to temple but we do not mind whether she comes or not. She went to church on Christmas night, Preethesh and my daughter accompanied her. When they will have children we do not want them to be converted to either of the religions. Let them be nonreligious as their parents who placed marriage above religion." Watch out for the next day when you get an invitation letter for another marriage where religion is not an invitee. -- " The so called caste-hindus are bitterly opposed to the depressed class using a public tank not because they really believe that the water will be thereby spoiled or will evaporate but because they are afraid of losing their superiority of caste and of equality being established between the former and the latter. We are resorting to this satyagraha not becasue we believe that the water of this particular tank has any exceptional qualities, but to establish our natural rights as citizens and human beings." - Dr B.R. Ambedkar, Mahad Satyagraha Conference, December 25th , 1927 --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Green Youth Movement" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/greenyouth?hl=en-GB -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
