[Gulf Goans] THE HUMOR OF MELVIN DURAI: "Life's Merry With A Maid"

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 02:55:40 -0700

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THE HUMOR OF                               Life can be
     MELVIN DURAI                                so funny!
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   Original, thought-provoking humor
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THIS WEEK'S COLUMN:

"LIFE'S MERRY WITH A MAID"
http://www.MelvinDurai.com/maid.htm

Some of my friends are having their homes cleaned regularly
by maids -- and I'm thinking of doing it, too. I'm sure I
could scrounge up enough money to buy a mop and a wig.
Melvin's Maid Service has a nice ring to it, but so does
Durai Dusting. I've already thought of a good slogan: "We'll
clean every speck, you write the big check." Or how's this:
"We'll clean your mess, even if we have to cross-dress."

There's money to be made in cleaning and I wouldn't mind
some of it. I do a lot of cleaning at home, but my only
reward is the look of disgust on my daughters' faces. They'd
rather live in a pig sty, especially if they can roll around
with the pig.

If I could get my wife to pay for maid service, I'd be in
business. In a few months, I'd fire the maids, do the
cleaning myself, and spend the money on beer. (Ginger beer,
that is. Non-alcoholic Jamaican ginger beer, with a bite
worse than Mike Tyson's.)

My standards, of course, aren't as high as the
professionals'. When I clean, I remove only a portion of the
dust, the top two layers or so. Professional maids don't
tolerate any kind of dirt, as I realized when I heard a
friend imploring her children: "Kids! Please try to clean
up. The maid will be coming soon!"

One of the largest maid services in America is called Merry
Maids. They show up in a group, clean your home in a couple
of hours, then go on their merry way. When guests come over,
they're so impressed.

Guest: "Your house is spotless. And it has that smell I
really like, eau de disinfectant."

Host: "Thank you. We use Merry Maids. They're always
smiling."

Guest: "Really? We use Ecstatic Maids. They're always giddy
with joy and mirth."

Second guest: "Really? We use ROTFL Maids. They're always
rolling on the floor laughing. That's how it gets so clean."

Most people don't really care how merry their maids are, as
long as they do a good job and don't help themselves to
anything.

Maid: "Mary, I just finished cleaning Dr. Patel's house and
look what I got: Four gold necklaces, three diamond rings,
two Rolex watches and an autographed picture of some guy
named Amitabh!"

Friend: "Wow, Gina! You really cleaned up!"

Amitabh Bachchan, the renowned Indian actor, can afford
hundreds of maids. But in countries like India and Zambia,
where I've lived, you don't have to be wealthy to have a
maid or servant. It might cost you less than you spend on
your internet connection -- and with fewer breaks in
service. Just imagine the possibilities. You can have one
servant to cook for you, another to clean for you, and a
third to exercise for you.

In America, with minimum-wage and other laws, middle-class
folks who want to take it easy at home must turn to the only
source of cheap labor that's readily available to them:
their children. When the youngsters are done with their
homework, they'd better do some home work.

American boy (chatting on Internet): "Sorry, Miguel, I've
gotta go. My mom wants me to get our dishwasher loaded."

Mexican boy: "Really, Jeremy? Our dishwasher gets loaded
only on Friday nights. You should see him staggering
around."

_______________
(c) Copyright 2005 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
- Forwarded by http://www.goa-world.com


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