Men & Women Should Read This!!!Not Bapuk...
Message: Malaysians are getting married at older age. Why?
Let me give an example. It is a little bit long example. If you
want to skip it, there is a summary at the end.

Say you are a fresh graduate at that age of 23, a male, starting a
carrier as an executive officer working somewhere in KL with a salary, say 
RM2000 per month and
without any saving in the bank.Monthly, extracting your expenditures on foods,
transportation (public or motorcycle),electricity, water, phone, house rent and 
other
expenses, say you can save about RM800 the most.Then, because you are a good 
son, you send some money to your parents or relatives about RM300 per month. 
This will give you a balance of RM500 of saving. For the first year, maybe you 
are very discipline with your budget, so you save about RM5000.

The next year at the age of 24, you meet a girl of your dream. Both of you plan 
to get married after
one year or two. Ok, that's fine, it gives you time to save some more money and 
some more
time to prepare the basic necessities for a 'happy' family? a car and a roof to 
live under.
That year because you are a hard worker, you get a raise of 10%. Since you are 
also a gentleman, you make sure some money is put aside to spend on dates and 
gifts for your girl, so 10% goes for
her. Like the previous year, after much sweat and maggie-eating months, you 
save another RM5000.Your company is doing ok. You are paid 2 months bonus. So, 
another RM4000 is added to yoursaving.So, your total saving now is RM14,000. 
You decide to spend about RM8000 on a brand-new RM40,000 car down payment. So, 
you net saving that year is RM6000.

The next year at the age of 25, you are doing fine at work. But because now you 
have to pay for car every month, your total monthly saving is cut down to about 
RM400. You save roughly about RM5000 that year.No bonus that year because your 
company is doing poor. So, your total saving in the bank is RM11,000. Then, you 
decide to get engaged with your girlfriend. She said OK. So, need to buy an 
engagement ring. RM1500 is spent on ring plus 'hantaran pertunangan'. So, your 
net saving that year is RM9,500.

The next year at the age of 26, you get promoted.Your salary now is 1.5 of your 
starting salary at the company. Good news! You think. "Ok, this year I will get 
married". You also are 'gersang' already. :)

So, you ask your fiance "how much is the dowry (hantaran)?" She say, 
"berapa-berapa yang u
sanggup". You ask,"RM5000 ok?". She replies, "I okay je. Tapi my mom tu. Dia 
kata grad oversea
macam I ni mane boleh letak rendah-rendah. Paling kurang RM10,000 tau!". Your 
eyes 'terjegil', your tongue 'meleleh' and you faint on the spot. "Where else 
in the world can I get extra
money?", you say to yourself. But, because you are very determined to get 
married with your dream
girl and in the name of love, you work really really hard that year until you 
are awarded
"The Best Employee of The Year". You get 3 months of bonus.You also do some 
side business
to supply ayam pencen. So, roughly your net saving at the end of that year is 
RM20,000.

Ok, now you are 27 years old with enough saving in the bank to pay for the 
dowry. But then, come
your mom saying,"Anak mak nak kawin ni mesti la buat grand grand. Kita sewa 
khemah besar-besar,jemput penyanyi ke artis ke sorang dua datang 
buatpersembahan. Lauk pauk kita cater aje la ya?RM10je sekepala. Baju kawin ko, 
kita sewa yg cantik-cantik dan mahal-mahal sket.Kita jemput
dalam 1000 orang datang ok?"

You did a quick in-the-head-calculation,"1000xRM10=RM10,000, penyanyi lagi, 
khemah lagi, buta-buta je RM15,000!!! Tu tak masuk cincin kahwin lagi!!" You 
say,"Mak, nak buat apa membazir-bazir duit ni?" Your mom replies,"Apa pulak 
membazirnya? Kau
kawin sekali je seumur hidup. Biarlah buat betul-betul." You insist,"Tapi mak?" 
Your mom says, "Dahlah, kau jangan nak buat malu mak. Cik Tipah jiran kita tu 
buat kenduri kat hotel siap dato, datin, tan sri puan sri lagi datang. Mana la 
mak nak letak muka kalau buat kenduri kecik kecik?".

Anyway, you finally get married. But, a beautiful happy life after marriage 
that you dream of with your wife does not last long. You have debts around your 
waist, interest gets higher every month, cannot afford to pay them, you wife 
gets tired of you asking money from her, she accuses you of being irresponsible 
husband for not being a good provider, blah blah blah? At the end, you two go 
into separate ways?You get divorced.

Problem breeds problem? Sometimes we wonder why marriage institution is failing 
in our country. The above example may not represent the whole phenomena
in our culture, but perhaps it gives us some ideas of the problems young couple 
these days
are facing in getting married from my perspective.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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