Thanks for the review. We just submitted https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-homenet-dncp-05 and hope this versions addresses the remaining issues.
Cheers, Steven On 02.06.2015 12:04, Mark Townsley wrote: > > Authors, > > We have reviewed your changes (just the diffs). Thank you for your > efforts and the quick response to WGLC comments. We found a few nits of > our own, would you mind including these in a quick -05 update? We will > then hand this off to the ADs their review, IETF last call, and IESG review. > > Thanks, > > - Mark and Ray > > Terminology section - please delineate the terms from the definition. e.g., > > DNCP Profile: is a definition... > > We found the use of ()'s confusing. e.g., Effective (trust) verdict.. > are the ()'s necessary? > > "Something with data about most recent request(s) for network state - > simplest one being a timestamp for the most recent request for network > state (see Section 5.2)." > > What is this something? This seems ambiguously worded. > > Section 4, and perhaps elsewhere in the doc now, suffers from a lack of > delineation between the term being defined and the definition. What you > had before was better in our view (with the articles, "A", "An", > "The"...), but we are fine with you removing them if you make the terms > stand out separately. > > Rather than "Zeroed", can we say something like "Padding (of value zero) > ... " > > Also, rather than "These padding bytes MUST NOT beincluded in the length > field." .. Of course you mean that the padding bytes must not > contributed to the length field, or included in the calculation of the > length field. But, that's not what the sentence actually says. > > Just above section 7.2, the pipe symbol used in the ascii art is in the > wrong spot (16.5 rather than 16). > > Also, spurious "with" just before 7.2: > > "for the node with matching node" > > > > > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > homenet mailing list > homenet@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/homenet > _______________________________________________ homenet mailing list homenet@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/homenet
