It strikes me that had you not come out on top at that audition, you could have 
certainly made it as a writer. 

On Aug 10, 2011, at 11:48 AM, Robert Ward <[email protected]> wrote:

> Hi all,
> 
> Recently, I submitted this short piece of writing to The Sun magazine for 
> their monthly "Readers Write" pages.  The topic was "Rites of Passage" and 
> although it was not chosen, I thought that some of you might find it 
> interesting to read.  Hope you are all enjoying this summer.
> 
> ****
> 
> It’s January, 1980. I’m squinting into the bright lights, standing on the 
> bare stage of the Opera House in San Francisco, trying to make out the shapes 
> of the committee seated in the audience that will decide my fate. I’m 
> gripping my horn, getting ready to audition for a first-chair position in the 
> San Francisco Symphony’s horn section, and I have only two remaining rivals 
> from a field that started yesterday with 75 players from all over the United 
> States. An audition is the test that anyone who wants to play in a big-time 
> orchestra must pass, and how you play in those 15 minutes will determine 
> whether you become a member of an elite fraternity, or return to a patchwork 
> existence of uncertain freelance employment. I try and clear my mind, willing 
> myself to let go of what has come before and keeping myself from imagining 
> what my then 24-year-old self cannot know about what lies ahead: a 30-year 
> career, standing ovations in the capitals of Europe, a circle of close 
> friends and colleagues, a complete Mahler Symphony cycle as first horn. 
> 
> It happens quickly, yet time is somehow elongated too. The Music Director 
> stands in front of me, uncomfortably close, and conducts me alone in a 
> prominent solo. I have to think fast to navigate a tricky unexpected piece 
> that they ask to try and trip me up (rhythm - it’s all about feeling the 
> rhythm, I say to myself, channeling my inner metronome). My sound fills the 
> hall with the power of Siegfried’s Call, fearlessly waking the dragon. Then 
> suddenly there is no more music on the stand, I hear a smattering of 
> individual applause, and the three of us begin to wait together on couches in 
> the Green Room, awkwardly caught between camaraderie and competition. Only 
> now does my heart start to pound, wondering what the result will be, my mind 
> racing into the future. 
> 
> The wait seems interminable, but then - a knock. The job is mine. I get 
> handshakes and congratulations from the others, but their eyes tell me what 
> they are really thinking. I’m numb, hardly knowing what to think, but later, 
> back home in Denver standing under a streetlight at the airport with the 
> snowflakes gently falling as I wait for a ride, I realize that everything has 
> changed - the next chapter is beginning and I wonder whether I’m ready.
> 
> ****
> 
> 
> Robert N. Ward
> Principal Horn
> San Francisco Symphony
> [email protected]
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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