THE WEDDING BAND

Dear Band Leader:

We look forward to your performance at our daughter's wedding.  If you
don't mind, we would like to request a few of our favorite songs.
Please play these during the reception:

-A Keith Jarrett composition from his solo series.  Please arrange it
for ensemble in the key of B, but nothing in 4/4 please.
-Mahavishnu Orchestra's "Dance of the Maya."  And, please have the
guitarist play John McLaughlin's solo from the live performance November
16, 1972 at Chrysler Arena.  My wife and I were at that show and we
liked his use of polyrhythms.
-One of John Coltrane's duets with Pharaoh Sanders.  Our guests love
high register tenor saxes.

We thought a little Stravinsky right after the toast would be nice.  So,
please play The Rite of Spring.  We like a tempo of about ¼ note = 93.
Please transpose it down three half steps; it will be so much more
appropriate for this occasion in the slightly lower register.

Then, for the candle lighting ceremony, please play Frank Zappa's "The
Grand Wazoo."  The original key of B-flat would be fine, but my cousin
Jeannie would like to sing the baritone sax solo in the key of D - she
has kind of a high voice.

When my new son-in-law takes off the garter, please play just a little
of Varese's "Ionization."  It's such a funny piece, we think it would go
over real well - much better than "The Stripper."  And, for the bride
and groom's first dance, please slow things down a bit by doing Barber's
Adagio for Strings.  It's so much better than "We've Only Just Begun" or
the "Anniversary Waltz."

When my wife and I join in the first dance, please segue to Thelonius
Monk's "Ruby, My Dear."  It's in honor of my wife's grandmother, whose
name was Ruby.  It would mean so much to the family.  Thanks for all
your help.

Depending on the outcome, we'll certainly be happy to recommend your
band to our friends.  We'll have your check for the fee of $250 (minus
our expenses in contacting you:  $12.50) by the end of next month.
We're a little short as the young lady doing the balloon arch wanted her
$1,850 in advance and the DJ had to be paid $2,500 up front.  Our
daughter assured us that your love of music was greater than your need
for money, and that you would welcome the exposure you would get from
playing this wedding.  Before you leave, please feel free to ask the
caterer for a snack sandwich and a soda pop (the bottles are returnable,
or you can pay the deposit to the butler).  Please use the back entrance
to avoid disturbing the guests.

We are so happy to be able to help out your band.     
 
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