THE TWELVE DAYS OF CLAMSAA (the horn players' holiday season founded by Prof. I.M. Gestopftmitscheist because we deserve our own holiday, just like everyone else!) On the first day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, A warm-up through every key. On the second day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, Two Kopprasch Books, and a warm-up through every key. On the third day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, Three section mates, two Kopprasch books, and a warm-up through every key. On the fourth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, Four Wagner Tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books, and a warm-up through every key. On the fifth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, FIVE ELKHART CONNS! Four Wagner Tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books, and a warm-up through every key. On the sixth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, six natural horns, FIVE ELKHART CONNS! Four Wagner Tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books, and a warm-up through every key. On the seventh day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, seven tubs of slide grease, six natural horns, FIVE ELKHART CONNS! Four Wagner Tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books, and a warm-up through every key. On the eighth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, eight quarts of valve oil, seven tubs of slide grease, six natural horns, FIVE ELKHART CONNS! Four Wagner Tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books, and a warm-up through every key. On the ninth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, nine different mutes, eight quarts of valve oil, seven tubs of slide grease, six natural horns, FIVE ELKHART CONNS! Four Wagner Tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books, and a warm-up through every key. On the tenth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, ten excerpt books, nine different mutes, eight quarts of valve oil, seven tubs of slide grease, six natural horns, FIVE ELKHART CONNS! Four Wagner Tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books, and a warm-up through every key. On the eleventh day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, eleven screw-rim mouthpieces, ten excerpt books, nine different mutes, eight quarts of valve oil, seven tubs of slide grease, six natural horns, FIVE ELKHART CONNS! Four Wagner Tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books, and a warm-up through every key. On the twelfth day of Clamsaa, my true love gave to me, a twelve-step program, eleven screw-rim mouthpieces, ten excerpt books, nine different mutes, eight quarts of valve oil, seven tubs of slide grease, six natural horns, FIVE ELKHART CONNS! Four Wagner Tuben, three section mates, two Kopprasch books, and a warm-up through every key. Copywrong, 2005 Prof. I. M. Gestopftmitscheist Principal 8th horn and Principal 4th Wagner Tuber, Schplittenotendorf am Oedland Staatsoper und Philharmoniker, (ret.) Solo Horn, Bad Corner Brass Quintet Hornist, Broken Winds WW Quintet Solo 4th Horn (Leader, call me for bookings), Smirnoff Horn Quartet Assistant Associate Principal Mellophone, NJ Turnpike Authority Drum and Bugle Corps, "The Phantom Lane Changers" (summer only) Hornist as Needed, L'Ensemble du Chambre des Palourdes Principal Natural Horn, I Soloisti di Feces Principal Baroque and Hunting Horn, Camarata Vongoleforte Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn and Pest Control, Exit 2 Community College, Exit 2, NJ (Ret.) Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn, Pest Control and Home Petroleum Studies, Northern New Hampshire Technical Institute, Bad Corner, NH Author, "The Kopprasch Connection," "Kopprasch for Fun and Profit," "Kopprasch for the New Millenium: Where Do you Fit In?" "Hooked on Hornonics," and "What If Saddam Had Given Ouday and Qusay Olds Ambassador or Conn Pan American Single F Horns and a Kopprasch Book Instead of AK 47's, Booze and Porn?" Founder, Director and CEO, Universal Institute for the Study, Preservation and Dissemination of Kopprasch Throughout the Solar System Founder and Guru Extraordinaire, Hornaholics Anonymous Grand Poobah of the Koppraschian Kult Director and Program Manager, The All Kopprasch Channel (AKC), Kopprasch Public Radio (KPR) Host of The Kopprasch Factor on AKC and All Kopprasch Considered on KPR Founder of Kopprasch Depot, your one stop shop for all you need! Owner-Operator, Bad Corner Petroleum Laboratory, " The Worlds Largest Valve Oil Factory" Interplanetarily Known Soloist and Artist of Record Exclusive Bundy, Carl Fischer, Olds Ambassador, Sansone and Conn Artist Who Does Not Get His Horns For Free Phone: yes Fax: yes E-mail: yes Website: no "New horn, $5,000. New mouthpiece, $100. Kopprasch, priceless!"
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