"Longhorn" Lenny of Laredo connjuncts: I wish to congratulate you on the founding of Clamsaa, a noble concept. Perhaps you would consider moving the holiday to some less congested part of the year. My first thought would be Sept. 1st of each year. That is the date of the "ultimate clam" by one of the world's great horn players. Now, Leonard, I am the mostestest of appreciations having that you have made the recognizations of the many importances and nobilities (and please don't forgettings or ignorings be making of the ignobilities, either) of this holiday and that perhaps we do all need the break from holidays at this conngested time of year and that we are probably maybe too many conncurrent celebrations to keep the conncentrated trackings of so, yes, Sept. 1st is a nice day to perhaps have "International Triumph 2 Clam Day" and we will need other days for "Clamdependance Day" and "Clamorial Day" and "Clamident's Day" and don't make the forgetings of our astronomical days in the universal calender of the solar system, the "Winter Clamstice" and the "Spring Claminox" and we also need to have "Clamoween" and please don't make the forgetings of "Clamsgiving" but now, I am having the thinkings that we really should be making EVERY day a part of CLAMSAA, since we all do this every day, without failings, and in that way, we will have more holidays than everyone else on the planet put together and I am really, really thinking that the "ultimate clam" is probably the "clam to end all clams" so perhaps making the "penultimate clam" would at least give us some hope as then there would only one more clam making comings after that one but I am still having the wonderings of what this "ultimate clam" is: the hows, whens, whats, wheres, whos, whys, and lotsa "you knows" about it so please be advisings making here, if you could be so kind and my many thankings in advances to you very much be having and please be giving all details as I am now "Brain Dead" on this subject.
Could you give us tips on how to observe this holiday? Now, I don't make the slightestest of thinkings that any of you need tips from me on how to clam, and I do take my role as your leader in this endeavor with the mostest of seriousnesses and enlightenments, so I will do this, since obviously you are all by now in a clamor over this, as you certainly, probably maybe do need to know the explanations of what the clams you are making are, exactly in details, so I will make the sendings of a copy of my famous "Lexicon of Clamology" to these lists as soon as I can make the findings of it as I have just recently moved my many possessionssesses from Exit 2, NJ to Bad Corner, NH, as my parole officer moved and I, of course, had to move along with him, and so I still am having difficulties even finding my Kopprasch Book 1 in the many boxes, trunks and U-Hauls and I-Hauls but here is a start, right off the top of my head: so, go get out your Kopprasch Book 1 (if it's not already on your stand), and make the openings of the pages to No. 1 (if it's not already turned to there), and start practicing it nice and slow, about mm 60 to the quarter note, using the F side, ONLY, and if you don't clam, really, really, really good, from either above or below a note, we're talking about a good "schpleah" or "schplooee" at some point before you get to the bottom of the page, then my name isn't Prof. Ignaz Manfred Gestopftmitscheist and you are a liar, a cheat and a thief, if not all of those at once, and maybe even a politician or a conductor or even a two or three or four letter acronym and please remember that CLAMSAA is a celebration of what we all do and love best and that it comes naturally, is nothing to be ashamed of or about, and should be done in public, as often as possible, and with great pride and no excuses, and this is a "No-Brainer!" Kindestest of Seasonings Greetonings and Mostest of Bivalvulations, Prof. I. M. Gestopftmitscheist Principal 8th horn and Principal 4th Wagner Tuber, Schplittenotendorf am Oedland Staatsoper und Philharmoniker, (ret.) Solo Horn, Bad Corner Brass Quintet Hornist, Broken Winds WW Quintet Solo 4th Horn (Leader, call me for bookings), Smirnoff Horn Quartet Assistant Associate Principal Mellophone, NJ Turnpike Authority Drum and Bugle Corps, "The Phantom Lane Changers" (summer only) Hornist as Needed, L'Ensemble du Chambre des Palourdes Principal Natural Horn, I Soloisti di Feces Principal Baroque and Hunting Horn, Camarata Vongoleforte Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn and Pest Control, Exit 2 Community College, Exit 2, NJ (Ret.) Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn, Pest Control and Home Petroleum Studies, Northern New Hampshire Technical Institute, Bad Corner, NH Author, "The Kopprasch Connection," "Kopprasch for Fun and Profit," "Kopprasch for the New Millenium: Where Do you Fit In?" "Hooked on Hornonics," and "What If Saddam Had Given Ouday and Qusay Olds Ambassador or Conn Pan American Single F Horns and a Kopprasch Book Instead of AK 47's, Booze and Porn?" Founder, Director and CEO, Universal Institute for the Study, Preservation and Dissemination of Kopprasch Throughout the Solar System Founder and Guru Extraordinaire, Hornaholics Anonymous Grand Poobah of the Koppraschian Kult Director and Program Manager, The All Kopprasch Channel (AKC), Kopprasch Public Radio (KPR) Host of The Kopprasch Factor on AKC and All Kopprasch Considered on KPR Founder of Kopprasch Depot, your one stop shop for all you need! Owner-Operator, Bad Corner Petroleum Laboratory, " The Worlds Largest Valve Oil Factory" Interplanetarily Known Soloist and Artist of Record Exclusive Bundy, Carl Fischer, Olds Ambassador, Sansone and Conn Artist Who Does Not Get His Horns For Free Phone: yes Fax: yes E-mail: yes Website: no "Let's put the K back in Xopprasch!" _______________________________________________ post: horn@music.memphis.edu unsubscribe or set options at http://music2.memphis.edu/mailman/options/horn/archive%40jab.org
