Wendell "Schmendell" Rider wronged: << Dear fellow listers one and all- Merry Xmas and a Happy Near Year! Well, now we have a real mess brewing here. Maybe an international incident. I'm very concerned about the two of you canceling each other out. People disappear all the time. Stranger things have happened! It would be a shame to lose both of you over this. >> Merry Xopprasch and a Happy Clamsaa to you too and sometimes it is best that horn players disappear especiallies during horn concertos or even symphonies or band concerts because they did not make the practicings of Kopprasch No. 1!!!!
<< I must also say that I have to disavow any responsibility for the actions of my former student, Herr Geschtopftmitscheist. He was an earnest, perhaps a bit obsessive lad with a wild imagination. His broken home and subsequent lack of monetary support caused him to rely on his street smarts to survive. As you can see, his ability to read people and his charismatic personality have taken him far from his humble beginnings. He used to tell me stories and do my gardening to pay for his lessons. Frankly, I never knew when he was telling the truth or if he knew what weeds were but it didn't seem to matter. He had that kind of effect. >> NOW, this is not me and you should have been knowing this since the name is spelled differently and besides that, and as my prize pupil, Kenny Betts, told you about me yesterday, my matriculations were making in Bad Lippstadt with Herr. Otto Fisch not in Sane Jose with you. << I did start him out on Kopprasch, so perhaps there is some blame for me to accept there. Really though, how could I know things would go this far? Everyone needs to do Kopprasch! A lot of Kopprasch. Kids nowadays just don't do enough Kopprasch. Its pathetic. Kids today are wimps when it comes to Kopprasch. He had a similar fascination with Bruckner, transcribing entire Masses for horn ensemble. The problem with his many transcriptions is that they have no rests. >> NOW, yes, this is true, which shows that your credulances as a teacher are vital but again, and the facts do not make liars of us all so the mostest, thoroughestest of studies of my Kopprasch with Herr Otto Fisch for 15 years were havings in Bad Lippstadt but I did also make some advanced studies of Nos. 2-10 with Oscar Franz, Franz Strauss, Oscar Strauss and Franz Oscar due to my mother's close connections to them and I also studied all the Wagner Tube concerti with the great Italian WT virtuoso Enrico Vongole when my train was delayed for a week one night in Milan many years ago and I have not the times been having to make transcriptions of Bruckner as I spend all of my mostest precioussest of free times looking anywheres and everywheres for the long lost symphonies, concertos, operas, divertimentos, cassations, serenades, lieders, masses, marches, polkas, cake-walks and rags by our beloved Kopprasch! << A great part of his life was taken up with the search for the Holy Mouthpiece. I know most of us have joined this Crusade at one time or another but again Geschtopftmitscheist carried things a bit too far, sometimes stalking people he thought might have the elusive artifact. He came to me several times, almost accusing me of hoarding a rare gold mouthpiece I had received from "the master"- saying that he should have it because I wasn't using it. >> NOW, again, this is all confusings of the realestest of issues as everyone who knows me knows that the Holy Mouthpiece, if it truly exists, is CHROME, not gold, plated and it is the original Fisch PDC used by him in the world premiere of the now long lost Symphony No. 1, "der Schtooper" by C. Kopprasch and the reason I say the Holy Mouthpiece's existences or nots are discussed in the greatestest of lengths in the recent best seller, The Da Vinci Clam. << He is, however, always willing to care for stray horns, taking in many over the years. If you have a horn you don't want that needs a good home, give him a call. His generosity to other people has not been mentioned enough here either. Many of the problems he faced in his life were brought about because he gave to much of himself to others. I think we should all look upon his recent gifts to us of the poem and the holiday as a cry for help and redemption. What has happened here? Do we really understand the depth of this event? Is there some way we can respond appropriately? Some day day we may all look back on this with great reverence. Or not. >> Now, this is the onliest of resemblings of this "Geschtopftmitscheist" to me that you have made the mentionings of here. << As far as his identity is concerned, if I told you, yes, I would have to be very concerned about your safety. I think he has revealed much about himself, perhaps too much. After all, on this Internet thing we call a forum, are any of us who we present ourselves to be? Think about that as we pass through the High Unholy Days of the Winter Solstice. >> Now, these are thoughts and we are all entitled to them but as to internet safety, it is best, as in all of your endeavors, to take precautions if you go to make the personal meetings with someone you meet on the internet as it may turn out to be the police and not the horn instructor they said they were. << Know that there is some truth in what I have said. >> Now, yes, but we hold these truths to be self-evidenced! Seasonings Greetonings and Mostestest of Defraudifications, Prof. I. M. Gestopftmitscheist Principal 8th horn and Principal 4th Wagner Tuber, Schplittenotendorf am Oedland Staatsoper und Philharmoniker, (ret.) Solo Horn, Bad Corner Brass Quintet Hornist, Broken Winds WW Quintet Solo 4th Horn (Leader, call me for bookings), Smirnoff Horn Quartet Assistant Associate Principal Mellophone, NJ Turnpike Authority Drum and Bugle Corps, "The Phantom Lane Changers" (summer only) Hornist as Needed, L'Ensemble du Chambre des Palourdes Principal Natural Horn, I Soloisti di Feces Principal Baroque and Hunting Horn, Camarata Vongoleforte Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn and Pest Control, Exit 2 Community College, Exit 2, NJ (Ret.) Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn, Pest Control and Home Petroleum Studies, Northern New Hampshire Technical Institute, Bad Corner, NH Author, "The Kopprasch Connection," "Kopprasch for Fun and Profit," "Kopprasch for the New Millenium: Where Do you Fit In?" "Hooked on Hornonics," and "What If Saddam Had Given Ouday and Qusay Olds Ambassador or Conn Pan American Single F Horns and a Kopprasch Book Instead of AK 47's, Booze and Porn?" Founder, Director and CEO, Universal Institute for the Study, Preservation and Dissemination of Kopprasch Throughout the Solar System Founder and Guru Extraordinaire, Hornaholics Anonymous Grand Poobah of the Koppraschian Kult Director and Program Manager, The All Kopprasch Channel (AKC), Kopprasch Public Radio (KPR) Host of The Kopprasch Factor on AKC and All Kopprasch Considered on KPR Founder of Kopprasch Depot, your one stop shop for all you need! Owner-Operator, Bad Corner Petroleum Laboratory, " The Worlds Largest Valve Oil Factory" Founder and Disseminator of CLAMSAA, the Universal Holiday for Horn Players Interplanetarily Known Soloist and Artist of Record Exclusive Bundy, Carl Fischer, Olds Ambassador, Sansone and Conn Artist Who Does Not Get His Horns For Free Phone: yes Fax: yes E-mail: yes Website: no "It is one thing to show a man his clams and another to put him in possession of Kopprasch." _______________________________________________ post: horn@music.memphis.edu unsubscribe or set options at http://music2.memphis.edu/mailman/options/horn/archive%40jab.org
