"Chatty" Cathy Lemmon writes: << Dear Professor IMG, what would be your take/input? >>
Now, Cathy, I am always ready to give/take, intake/output, outtake/input, takeout/eatin, lightup/putout, hold'm/fold'm, whatevers. << My horn professor was covering 4th horn for a concert with the university orchestra. I don't recall the piece we were performing, but he managed to briefly doze during a very soft string passage, which was followed by a very loud horn entrance. He woke up a couple measures before our entrance and thought we were a couple measures past where we actually were. He quite dutifully put his horn up and played his note, a wonderful ff right over the melodious pp strings. He quickly put his horn down and acted as if nothing had happened. >> Now, first off here (and there), I must make the mostest of complementings to your professor as this was the mostestest of nobles of him to be the supports of you and your student colleagues making by playing this concert with you in the first place covering 4th horn (and not even wanting to be called PRINCIPAL 4th horn) and no matter what happened you were all the mostest of fortunates to have him there anyways in the first place but as to the nature of this clam, like its antithesis in the clam world, the "no speaky," it is the mostestest of debatables that it is a "true clam" in the first place as I am making the assumption here that this was a case of "right note, wrong time," but, I think we can all agree that it does fall under the definition of a "premature articulation" (as already posticulated by another horn lister) and this is also known as a "beforehand blow" or "early extripation" or "untimely ultrasonic" or "preparatory pucker" or "exordious entrance" or a "beforehand buzzalation" or an "inopertune tuning" or a "pre-seasoned palatal" or an "antecedented anthem" and as to the lack of consciousness preceding the antecadences this could have been due to "narcoleptic noddifications" or simply just a "cranial crepitation" or "cerebrial cheese-cutting" and these things happen in life, as you know, and we are all guilty until proven innocent and vice versa which is why he quickly put his horn down and but if it had been I (or even me) I would have stood up for a solo bow and then asked the contractor for solo pay. << It was all I could do, on first, to keep a straight face to come in when we were "supposed" to. >> Now, yes, this was good of you and even almost professional and you certainly realized that this was a tough act to follow so why even try? << He told me later that, when he realized what he was doing, he tried so hard to suck the note back in, but it just didn't work. >> Now, I'm not sure you can suck a note back in once it has left the horn and we all know that stopping the horn still makes a sound and we all have been having too many and way too much discussions on this already and I have never had any troubles with stopping the horn, only starting it, especially on a cold winter morning, but obviously, this was not the problem that night as it started fine, from what your descriptions described, and I would say, though, that if you (everyone in general, not you, personally) suck when you play, then this technique of sucking back once you have started would be a good thing to have the knowledges of, for sure, and in this particular instance of circumstances, it would have been good if there were such a thing as an SBD Brain Fart. << Herr Professor, would there be a term for such an event? >> Probably, maybe. Kindestest of Greetonings and Mostestest of Suckifications, Prof. I. M. Gestopftmitscheist Principal 8th horn and Principal 4th Wagner Tuber, Schplittenotendorf am Oedland Staatsoper und Philharmoniker, (ret.) Solo Horn, Bad Corner Brass Quintet Hornist, Broken Winds WW Quintet Solo 4th Horn (Leader, call me for bookings), Smirnoff Horn Quartet Assistant Associate Principal Mellophone, NJ Turnpike Authority Drum and Bugle Corps, "The Phantom Lane Changers" (summer only) Hornist as Needed, L'Ensemble du Chambre des Palourdes Principal Natural Horn, I Soloisti di Feces Principal Baroque and Hunting Horn, Camarata Vongoleforte Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn and Pest Control, Exit 2 Community College, Exit 2, NJ (Ret.) Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn, Pest Control and Home Petroleum Studies, Northern New Hampshire Technical Institute, Bad Corner, NH Author, "The Kopprasch Connection," "Kopprasch for Fun and Profit," "Kopprasch for the New Millenium: Where Do you Fit In?" "Hooked on Hornonics," "What If Saddam Had Given Ouday and Qusay Olds Ambassador or Conn Pan American Single F Horns and a Kopprasch Book Instead of AK 47's, Booze and Porn?" and "The Da Vinci Clam: The Search for the Holy Mouthpiece." Founder, Director and CEO, Universal Institute for the Study, Preservation and Dissemination of Kopprasch Throughout the Solar System Founder and Guru Extraordinaire, Hornaholics Anonymous Grand Poobah of the Koppraschian Kult Director and Program Manager, The All Kopprasch Channel (AKC), Kopprasch Public Radio (KPR) Host of The Kopprasch Factor on AKC and All Kopprasch Considered on KPR Founder of Kopprasch Depot, your one stop shop for all you need! Owner-Operator, Bad Corner Petroleum Laboratory, " The Worlds Largest Valve Oil Factory" Founder and Disseminator of CLAMSAA, the International Holiday for Horn Players Interplanetarily Known Soloist and Artist of Record Exclusive Bundy, Carl Fischer, Olds Ambassador, Sansone and Conn Artist Who Does Not Get His Horns For Free Phone: yes Fax: yes E-mail: yes Website: no "Kopprasch does not suck." _______________________________________________ post: horn@music.memphis.edu unsubscribe or set options at http://music2.memphis.edu/mailman/options/horn/archive%40jab.org
