Now, please make the liftings of a stein of froth or a flute of bubbly, or a can of Diet Moxie, or whatever, and sing: FOR AULD CLAM MINE! Should old performance be forgot, No, it won’t go just go away! Should old performance be forgot, No, I clam every friggin’ day! Chorus: For auld clam mine, my gawd, For auld clam mine! I’ll take up Kopprasch and long tones, For auld clam mine! I have a concert in the eve, And I hope it will go fine. I fear it won’t because, my friends, For auld clam mine! I never practice right, you know, I just never have the time. But I am sick of Schpleah and Schplat, For auld clam mine! The new year starts upon this day, and I must draw the line! I vow to work my tail off, now, For auld clam mine! A Farkas warm up I shall do, And all on the F side! With long tones and Kopprasch, my friend, For auld clam mine! Seasonings Greetonings and Mostestest of Rejuvinations for the New Year, Prof. I. M. Gestopftmitscheist Principal 8th horn and Principal 4th Wagner Tuber, Schplittenotendorf am Oedland Staatsoper und Philharmoniker, (ret.) Solo Horn, Bad Corner Brass Quintet Hornist, Broken Winds WW Quintet Solo 4th Horn (Leader, call me for bookings), Smirnoff Horn Quartet Assistant Associate Principal Mellophone, NJ Turnpike Authority Drum and Bugle Corps, "The Phantom Lane Changers" (summer only) Hornist as Needed, L'Ensemble du Chambre des Palourdes Principal Natural Horn, I Soloisti di Feces Principal Baroque and Hunting Horn, Camarata Vongoleforte Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn and Pest Control, Exit 2 Community College, Exit 2, NJ (Ret.) Adjunct, Part-time, Arms-length Professor of Horn, Pest Control and Home Petroleum Studies, Northern New Hampshire Technical Institute, Bad Corner, NH Author, "The Kopprasch Connection," "Kopprasch for Fun and Profit," "Kopprasch for the New Millenium: Where Do you Fit In?" "Hooked on Hornonics," "What If Saddam Had Given Ouday and Qusay Olds Ambassador or Conn Pan American Single F Horns and a Kopprasch Book Instead of AK 47's, Booze and Porn?" and "The DaVinci Clam: Was Kopprasch Really God's Other Son?" Founder, Director and CEO, Universal Institute for the Study, Preservation and Dissemination of Kopprasch Throughout the Solar System Founder and Guru Extraordinaire, Hornaholics Anonymous Grand Poobah of the Koppraschian Kult Director and Program Manager, The All Kopprasch Channel (AKC), Kopprasch Public Radio (KPR) Host of The Kopprasch Factor on AKC and All Kopprasch Considered on KPR Founder of Kopprasch Depot, your one stop shop for all you need! Owner-Operator, Bad Corner Petroleum Laboratory, "The Worlds Largest Valve Oil Factory" Founder and Disseminator of CLAMSAA, the Universal Holiday for Horn Players Interplanetarily Known Soloist and Artist of Record Exclusive Amborg, Bundy, Carl Fischer, Olds Ambassador, Sansone and Conn Artist Who Does Not Get His Horns For Free Phone: yes, land line only, no cell Fax: old, doesn’t work any more E-mail: yes, but only check it once a year Web Site: sort of "Help stop Global Clamming: Increase your Kopprasch emissions in 2008!!!"
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