You know you are a lousy cook if....

Your family automatically heads for the table every time they hear a
fire siren.

Anyone has ever broken a tooth eating your homemade yogurt.

Your kids know what "peas porridge in a pot nine days old" tastes
like.

Your son goes outside to make mud pies, the rest of the family grabs
forks and follows him.

Your kids' favorite drink is Alka-Seltzer.

You have to buy 25 pounds of dog food twice a week for your toy poodle
.
Your kids got even with the neighborhood bully by inviting him over
for dinner.

Your kids got suspended from school for trying to smuggle toxic waste
in their lunch bags.

Your husband refers to the smoke detector as the oven timer.

No matter what you do to it the gravy still turns bright purple.


 

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