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Jokes of the day
Young Johnny had been blind since birth. His mother had always explained
to him that it was God's will and must be accepted. One Sunday, Johnny's
mom came home from church and told Johnny that she'd had a conversation
with God and He agreed that it was time to let Johnny see. "He said
if you'll pray real hard and fast every day this week, next Sunday you'll
be able to see. Young John hardly ate a bite that week and spent his every
waking hour praying and waiting for Sunday. By Saturday night he was weak
from hunger and exhausted from praying and he dropped off to sleep in
great anticipation of morning. Johnny woke to the sound of church bells
on the soft Spring morning. He lay with his eyes closed for several minutes
to savor the coming event. Slowly, he opened his eyes, and to his great
dismay, realized he was still blind. "Mom!" the lad yelled,
"I still can't see." His mother, touching the boy's head softly,
said, "Yes, I know Johnny, April Fool!"
Joke 2 - On a tour
of New Zealand, the Pope took a few days off to visit the coast for some
sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there
was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a France
rugby shirt, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws
of a 25 foot shark. As the Pope watched in horror, a speedboat pulled
up with three men wearing England shirts. One quickly fired a harpoon
into the shark's side while the other two reached out and pulled the blue
semiconscious Frog from the water. Then using the long clubs, the three
beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat. Immediately the Pope
shouted and summoned them to him. "I give you my blessing for your
brave actions. I heard that there were some bitter hatreds between the
French and the English, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this
is not true." As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his pals,
"Who was that?" "It was the Pope" one replied. "He
is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."
"Well" the harpooner said, "he may have access to God and
his wisdom, but he doesn't know anything about shark fishing. Is the bait
holding up OK or do we need to get another one?"
Joke3 - I phoned
up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track
of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't
BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a
little of that magic. "Wow!" I said "I don't know if I
could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when
you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the
challenge! "Yeah," I said, "Just so long as you don't mind
a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!" She
laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she
thought tubby bald men were cute! "Anyway", she said, "I've
put on a couple of pounds myself!" So I hung up.
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