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Jokes of the day
A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the plane and sat down in first
class. A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told
her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat. She
refused. The flight attendent was persistant, but the blonde replied,
"No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like
in first class." The flight attendent was getting frustrated. Finally,
after quite some time, she convinced her to move. Another passenger who
had witnessed the exchange asked the attendent, "How did you get
her to move?" The flight attendent replied, "I told her first
class doesn't stop in Detroit." Joke2 - It was snowing heavily and
blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde
got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going
to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about
her situation. She finally remembered her dad's advice that if she got
caught in a blizzard, she would wait for a snow plow to come by and follow
it. That way she would not get stuck. Sure enough, a snow plow soon passed
by, and she started to follow it. After quite sometime had passed, she
was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out
and came back to her car and signaled her to roll down her window. The
snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right, as she had been
following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him
of her dad's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard. The
driver replied that it was OK with him, and she could continue if she
wanted, but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over
to Target next.Joke3 - John and Marsha decided that the only way to pull
off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment
was to send him out on the balcony and tell him to report on all the neighborhood
activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into
operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"
he said. A few moments passed. "An ambulance just drove by."
A few more moments passed. "Looks like the Andersons have company,"
he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike." "The Coopers
are having sex." Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know
they're having sex?" "Their kid is standing out on the balcony
too." Joke4 - One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack
and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for
him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You
are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay
here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple folks here
who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have
to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Bush thought
that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was
Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing
empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No,"
George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't
think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the next
room. In it was Newt Gingrich with a sledge hammer and a room full of
rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No,
I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if
all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George. The devil
opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor
with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle
pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush
took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said: "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
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