The Linux community of ILUGD faithfuls met at Guru Raju Mathur's Ashram to ponder on high ideals and to carry out the ritual sacrifice of a cake and box of sweets to celebrate the Twelveteenth birthday of our beloved Bhagwan Linux.
The event was begun with a pravachan by Pandit Tarun Dua who spoke on the importance of TCO in our lives and how we should calculate costs to keep the shaitan Maikro-Naram out of our lives. The laity were encouraged to interact with the Panditji which they did with such abandon as to alarm him. He cautioned us all against the careless voicing of the name of the demon, lest like You Know Who or Sauron, we invoke the evils of “openings in the wall, with panes of wood and glass, for looking out and getting fresh air”.
The faithful then chanted a bhajan sung by Bhai Viksit jisne hame Gaur se Intrusion Detection Systems ke bare mein bataya, while unbelievers SNORTed at his verse. His melliflous voice touched everyone and they sat spellbound as if they were high on ACID while he explained the intricacies of securing host systems and networks.
After this, the mystic sadhu Spoonman unraveled the dark secrets of spamassassin and postfix, aided by an Akashwani a la Bharti Telecom who filled in what mere mortals cannot know about these arcane secrets.
The congregation was soothed by the harmonious notes of Linux Lingam on his.... guitar, what did you think? Not wanting to be left out, Guru Rajuji's Linux box pitched in with musical compositions of it's own, which forced seer after seer to eagerly explain to the unbelieving congregation that these were NOT sounds of heavenly digestion BUT a godly karaoke, which were the creation of Bhagwan Linux himself.
Alas, the enlightening ended too soon, and, disappointedly, the faithful sacrificed the cake and sweets in a subdued manner. They dutifully recalled the very first utterings of the prophet Linus Torvalds in the epic comp.os.minix. Seeing some of the folk still suffering from rumblings of hungry tummies, Guruji took pity on them and transported these souls to Shefali, near IIT Barista, where Prashad of chaat and rolls were reverently partaken by all. Others rumbled in a different way, making the usual dark allegations about the diversion of offerings of the faithful to the vicarious pleasures of life by Guruji and his coterie.
All said and done, everyone would have had a good time, if it were not for a certain Ashwin Baindur who cased the joint, noted each and every person's alias, number and ID and at the last moment strayed from the straight and narrow by joining the gang at Shefali for the spoils. Will someone please do something about him? As Guruji was heard saying “Will no one rid me of this .....?”.
Afterthought – Thanks to Kishore and for the lovely cake and sweets. Besides the usual geeks and goons, we had amongst us Edwin Walls, an interesting gentleman, and the vivacious Vandana Gombar, a very Special Correspondent of...what was that rag, once again?
PS : To those who frown at my light-heartedness about such sacred matters, I thumb my nose at them, NYAA, and taunt them to write the minutes of the next meeting themselves.
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