I have two questions. The first question is how should I respond to these folks? Is there any merit
whatsoever in what they are saying? Does anyone have a reference that I can point them to that
clearly states why this is incorrect?
They are choosing to block spam in a way that blocks a lot of non-spam, as well. It is their choice -- a very bad one in my opinion, but one they are entitled to. They may respond saying "We block no non-spam mail, since we define spam as including E-mail from an IP without a vanity reverse DNS." But the fact remains that it usually isn't worth more than a quick response. If you try to jump through their hoops, you may find that you can no longer jump through someone else's hoops.
The 2nd question is even if these guys are not respecting valid configurations, is there a "best
practice" that would make my life easier when it comes to overzealous ISPs?
Yes. You politely inform them that they are blocking legitimate mail, and then ignore it.
-Scott
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