You will not tempt fate if you either:
. forbid shared expunge
. keep the message text around until the last client that has the mailbox
open is notified about the expunge
The other strategies tempt fate.
Why subject yourself to the risk, when there is such a clear answer that
does not tempt fate?
Wasn't IMAP supposed to work with existing mail stores? How exactly do you do this with maildir or mbox? Or anything else than mbx and other formats explicitly designed for IMAP?
UW-IMAP's solution to unexpectedly changing mbox is BYE. Maybe that's the correct answer then.
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