Hello Dito, Not bad for a new comer. Betul, not bad at all. Tetapi,kalau mau practice, harus dalam format yang benar. Boleh gue beri saran? Poem yang umum dibuat dalam satu stanzah ada 4 baris (disebut quatrain). Buatan Dito sudah benar.
Tetapi, dalam satu baris/line di dalam quatrain itu, jumlah syllables (suku kata) nya harus sama. Contoh: Peace is eternal = 5 syllables Tetapi baris berikut nya: Passion is infernal = 6 syllables. Terus semakin kebawah kalau dibacakan secara keras, akan terasa semakin berantakan. Selain itu, walaupun di dalem poetry writing, grammar bisa dibolak balik (seperti gaya Yoda bicara) bukan berarti BOLEH memaksakan grammar yang salah. Dan kadang tanda baca juga penting. Contoh: Only in light or darkness you could trully act With the courage the grey lack Dito berusaha me rhyme kan act dan lack, tetapi dengan cara mengesampingkan grammar. Ini tidak boleh. With the courage the grey lacks. Tidak boleh di jadikan seperti diatas karena selain grammatically incorrect, juga sangat mengurangi keindahan poetry nya sendiri. misspelling: truly, bukan trully. misspelling dalam poetry writing TIDAK DIPERKENANKAN. Kalau dalam test, tanpa melihat lain2 nya lagi, begitu ada mispelling, langsung gak lulus loh. ha ha ha... jadi, please, lain kali coba lebih berhati-hati. Poem semacam yang Dito buat memang bukan berarti jelek, tetapi tidak sesuai pakem. Gak papa buat iseng2, namanya juga seni. Yang penting bisa mengekspresikan diri. Tetapi Dito kan bilang mau belajar serius, malah ingin membuat yang dalam bentuk Iambic Pentameter seperti Shakespeare punya. Nah, kalau gitu, kenapa gak dari sekarang saja belajar menulis sesuai pakem? Terserah, boleh 6,7 atau bahkan 15 syllables asalkan jumlah nya tetap sama sampai poem nya selesai. Dan ingat, satu stanzah dalam poem, gak harus quatrain. Bisa doublet (2 baris), septuplet (7 baris), atau 5, 6, 8, 11, terserah Dito. Memang yang umum nya dipakai dalam bentuk pantun di melayu adalah quatrain. Tapi Dito bisa bereksperimen dengan yang lain. Ini gue berikan contoh lain poem, yang berbentuk SONNET atau soneta. Pakem nya adalah: satu stanzah terdiri atas 3 quatrain ditambah 1 doublet. Rhyming dalam soneta di dalam quatrain adalah ABAB atau CDCD dst dst, sedangkan di dalam doublet nya AA atau BB dst dst. Ini adalah soneta yang gue tulis sewaktu ikut test of lore di Shadow Academy di Dark Jedi Brotherhood. Soneta gue ini terdiri dari 3 stanzah, masing2 lines terhitung 8 syllables. (sorry, gue lagi malas nulis yang baru... he he he...) Silakan kalau mau dibalas atau mau buat yang lain juga boleh. Mungkin tertantang untuk bikin poem berbentuk soneta? Satu stanzah saja deh (3 quatrain + 1 doublet)... gimana? THE LIGHT OF DARKNESS Happiness was never my treat While hope was always hard to find When loneliness was tough to beat Desperation was surely mine Alone, I always walked my path Violence is on every corner Lies and deceits had brought me death Would revenge come ever faster? If only I had wings to fly And many thousand eyes to see My fragile heart would cease to cry And distant hope would never flee Must I reap what I had not sown? Trapped in a world I had not known? Light at the end of the tunnel They said it freed you from darkness I found it was just a funnel To another place of blackness In the dark I could hear the voice So faint at first but then so loud The voice said that I had a choice Should I release my heart from doubt And on again I walked alone Forever seeking and searching Treaded on the pavement of stone Side by side, pain and suffering There, at the end of the road stood Lo, the Dark Jedi Brotherhood I knew the road I had taken Lead me not into destruction Although many I saw fallen Many more stood in fulfillment Passed the gate of the Brotherhood Determined to open the door And learned what was not understood To find what I've been looking for Wise Jedi said, peace is a lie And that there is only passion Vengeance will never ever die For it burns for retribution It's true that patience is virtue Yet my revenge is overdue Your Protector In Darkness, Indie --- In [email protected], "Radhitio Sadewo" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Sorry took time to reply. About the poetry I really still need lots of practice. But here > it goes: > > Peace is eternal > Passion is infernal > Only living with peace > Can put your mind at ease > > If it is glory you seek > Passion shall you make weak > Only in control of your passion > Then you can reach salvation > > Come and be one with the light > Shall we defeat the night > The cold and the freezing winter blight > Eternally shall we always fight > > Shadows of grey shows hesitation > Hesitation leads to oblivion > Only in light or darkness you could trully act > With the courage the grey lack > > Res Gesta Per Excellentiam > Dito >
