DON'T TRAVEL WITH THE FOLLOWING AIRLINES
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QANTAS
Passengers on a Qantas flight hear this announcement from the
captain: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we
have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into
ocean".
The passengers are obviously very worried about this situation
but somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
"Ladies and Gentlement, we at Qantas have prepared for such
emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so
that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and
all swimmers are on the right side of the plane".
After this announcement all the passengers rearranged their
seating to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later
the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once
again made an announcement "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have crashed
into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the
plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the
plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of the
plane, THANK YOU FOR FLYING WITH QANTAASSSSS....".
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BRITISH AIRWAYS
"This is captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd
like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New
York to London.
We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across
the Atlantic".
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the
aircraft, you will observe that the starboard engines are on
fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will
observe that the port wing has fallen off".
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a
little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.
That's me your captain, the co-pilot and one of the air
stewardes. This is a recorded message".
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PAN AMERICAN
"Ladies and Gentlement, G'day! This is your captain
Biglang-Awa speaking, we are now over the Phillipine trench where
you can find the deepest part of the Pacific ocean. Here you
can also find almost all the ferocious creatures in the sea.
There's killer sharks, barracudas, and many others. And now for
the final, please stay calm and don't panic for both our engines
are dead and we are now going down into that ocean.
Please wear your life vest. We are going to crashland this
plane into the water. "In the meantime, I would like you to
follow everything I'm going to say. Repeat after me:
Our Father who is in heaven......"Any Comment?!"
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WHY YOU DON'T TRY GARUDA ???? GARUDA
Passengers on a Garuda flight hear this announcement from the
captain: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we
have lost power to all of our engines since actually there isn't
enough fuel and will shortly crash into paddy field."
The passengers are obviously very worried about this situation
and somewhat shocked by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies
and Gentlement, we at Garuda does not prepared for such emergency
and our emergency windows is not working, our life vests have
been sold to buy fuel, and our oxygen masks have no oxygen.
And also I would like to inform you, this aircraft is flied by
remote control since Garuda can not afford to employ pilot.
But look at the bright side, your family gonna get insurance and
every one of you will have the opportunity to be buried under
paddy field and become human fertilizer and since then paddy will
grow to feed the starvation in Indonesia...........
Notes: Garuda condition after PwC advises to downsize human
utilizationto attain efficient organization......!!!
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8-)------F-r-o-m---Y-@-n-t-o---w-i-t-h------{-@
"Happiness is teaching what you have learned"
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