Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for draft-ietf-ipsecme-labeled-ipsec-11: No Objection
When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this introductory paragraph, however.) Please refer to https://www.ietf.org/about/groups/iesg/statements/handling-ballot-positions/ for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ipsecme-labeled-ipsec/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- COMMENT: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- # GEN AD review of draft-ietf-ipsecme-labeled-ipsec-11 CC @larseggert Thanks to Maria Ines Robles for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review (https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/gTc6yk7Q4jKh4sNNEQREidgJa70). ## Comments ### Inclusive language Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and more guidance: * Term `traditionally`; alternatives might be `classic`, `classical`, `common`, `conventional`, `customary`, `fixed`, `habitual`, `historic`, `long-established`, `popular`, `prescribed`, `regular`, `rooted`, `time-honored`, `universal`, `widely used`, `widespread` ## Nits All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you did with these suggestions. ### Typos #### Section 3, paragraph 1 ``` - type in addtion to the TS_SECLABEL Traffic Selector type in the + type in addition to the TS_SECLABEL Traffic Selector type in the + + ``` #### Section 3, paragraph 2 ``` - specifed for each of those TS_TYPE, such as narrowing them following + specified for each of those TS_TYPE, such as narrowing them following + + ``` ### Grammar/style #### "Table of Contents", paragraph 1 ``` curity label. A security label is comprised of a set of security attributes. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ``` Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of" or "is composed of"? #### Section 3, paragraph 2 ``` loads that include the TS_SECLABEL, than the Child SA MUST be created includ ^^^^ ``` Did you mean "then"? #### Section 3.1, paragraph 4 ``` different specific Security Labels, than these should be negotiated in two d ^^^^ ``` Did you mean "then"? ## Notes This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can use the [`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT]. [ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md [ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments [IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool _______________________________________________ IPsec mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/ipsec
