So, without some kind of case translation dictionary that can be
trusted on the particular strings we want to test, can we assume
that's it's not actually a solvable problem? (because, like divide by
zero, the question isn't valid to start with)

Could you maybe get better results by (if upperCompare ||
lowerCompare)?

Was I serious for a second there?

GERBILS!

That's better.

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