dennis bartlett wrote:
> Hi Mike
>  
> Contact Prospectus - they're a recruitment house specialising in the 
> Pick / Universe / jBase etc world in London - you'll have to look up 
> the phone number as I can't remember it, but they're in Popes Lane 
> possibly Ealing.
>  
> The owner's name is Elkie Holland - just tell her Dennis Bartlett said 
> she's able to find anyone a great job. She works both UK and 
> Australia, so the world's your oyster.
>  
> London may be expensive, but do yourself a favour and be careful about 
> anywhere north of Milton Keyne - it's really drab out there, except 
> Edinburgh is quite fun :-)
What a particularly stupid and moronic thing to say.

You might at least spell Milton Keynes correctly before you deride 60% 
of the associated land mass - assuming that is, that you know of 
anywhere else in Scotland, otherwise more like 85%. You obviously are 
not aware that I am from Yorkshire, a place you must fly over on your 
way to Edinburgh from London and without which you would not have had 
accurate longitude, frictionless gears, a recent poet laureate, bonfire 
night, and more importantly, Michael Palin and his hilarious piss taking 
of Yorkshire (well, Barnstonworth).

I'll be sure to tell Elkie that Dennis Bartlett is a peculiarly stupid 
example of the inability to read the posting guidelines, wherein it asks 
you to at least pay passing attention to culturally sensitive issues. I 
didn't necessarily have the North of England in mind at the time, but I 
think it qualifies, given that 4 of the original jBASE programming team 
were from well North of Milton Bloody Keynes (did you catch that 's' 
this time?) and that there wasn't anyone else involved in writing it. 
While none of the other 3 are as Northern as myself, and are therefore 
classified as weak southern buggers, you have still included their 
semi-northern origins in your flippancy. I am sure that Pat (Derby), 
Greg (Bloody Nottingham) and Alan (Scouse B_____d) are suitably 
impressed by your eloquence and are happy that you use their programming 
every day of your life.

Your post of course is indelibly etched into the Internet, and future 
historians will no doubt be surprised that the world at the time 
consisted of crustaceans in the south of England and the world's best 
bread stealers; rightly sent there from England for daring to object to 
the London based government keeping them in abject poverty. And we still 
wonder why they beat the crap out of us at ______  (fill in at your 
leisure and apologies in advance to my Aussie mates for not taking the 
time for a thorough piss taking with the usual reciprocation.)

It is of course purely an accident that Douglas Adams wasn't from 
Yorkshire; he would have been, but he missed the bus. If he had been 
from Yorkshire, which he wasn't (see earlier) he would likely have told 
you to go stick your head in a fish. Being more polite than Mr. Adams, I 
will merely say that up until now, I quite liked South Africa other than 
the airport taxis in Jo'burgh. Now that I correctly conclude from one 
example that everyone from the vicinity is bloody stupid (it must have 
been the Bloody Dutch (c) Michael Caine [also not a Yorkshireman]), I 
guess I will have to say that the best thing to come out of Gonubie is 
highway 2 and it's a pity that Slartibartfast didn't have time for the 
Fjords this time around.


Jim
Aka: Northern B_____d



PS: Don't worry about replying to this :-)

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