http://worldpulse. com/magazine/ articles/ not-alone- anymore
Not Alone Anymore
by Ramya Ramanathan | February 2, 2009
Across India, Satish Singh inspires men to break with brutal traditions and
stand behind the women in their lives and villages.
Peter Arnold Inc.) | (UNEP
Satish Singh’s home state, the northernmost Uttar Pradesh, is renowned as one
of the poorest and most male-dominated states in all of India. More populated
than all but five countries in the world, with more than 190 million people, it
is a vast land where the physical and verbal abuse of women rarely raises
eyebrows.
Now, it is the heart of Satish Singh’s gentle revolution to change the way men
think about violence against women.
“The dowry killings are increasing in my own village,” he explains. “There have
been over five dowry deaths, and they are not seen as violence. Even my own
cousin burned his wife, or perhaps she committed suicide due to the domestic
violence, I do not know. The whole village kept quiet.”
Outraged, Satish mobilized men in his village to demand justice. Since then he
has ignited a growing movement that motivates men to protest against violence
and to support survivors, often through direct intervention with authorities.
Its members also hope to become role models for boys and other men.
Today Satish’s network, Men’s Action for Stopping Violence against Women, has
over 100 village organizations that have reached out to tens of thousands of
youth and men. These organizations form violence prevention watch groups that
intervene in cases of violence within the village. They also work with doctors,
police, lawyers, judges, and the media, as well as local schools and colleges,
to ensure that these villages are violence-free zones.
The network tackles hundreds of acts of violence each year and has been asked
by the government to expand from 40 districts to all 75 across the state.
“Once we started meeting survivors and saying, ‘You are not alone; we will
stand by you,’” Satish says, “we found that they can better fight their cases
and solve them.”
They have had many successes. In one case a woman was burned for dowry, and the
perpetrator made it appear to be a suicide. A delegation of men from three
neighboring districts repeatedly met with authorities to ensure that charges
were pressed and the guilty arrested. In another instance, a citizens’ group
helped a woman register her case with authorities after her father-in-law
pushed her off a roof following her refusal of his sexual advances. Her
injuries necessitated the amputation of both legs and an extended hospital
stay. The men’s group arranged for her medical care, including prosthetics to
help her regain her confidence.
There is seemingly no end to the network’s creative strategies. Boys and men
raise their voices through campaigns, debates, poster competitions, and film
shows, and all pledge against acts of violence and rape. Tapping into media is
a key strategy—they often train journalists from rural media outlets in order
to reach new populations.
At the core of the movement is the idea of self-change.
“Initially, we find that this work naturally appeals to men because they tend
to view themselves as protectors,” says Satish. “However, this is based on a
dominant belief of helplessness in women, so we go further, asking men to
reflect on their relationships at the workplace and in their homes.
“In many ways I continue to pay the price for this work, and I feel discouraged
often. Many local organizations do not welcome my teachings—violence against
women is still viewed as a women’s issue, a family matter. In the beginning,
even some feminist groups challenged us, asking, ‘Why should we use our limited
resources on educating men and not women?’”
But ultimately it was working alongside women’s groups and feminist friends
that changed Satish’s life and opened his eyes. “All these friends have helped
me reveal my inner humanness, which has remained hidden until now.” he says,
“They showed me how to share my problems and open up.”
And the achievements of Satish’s network are quickly breaking ground.
“Now, in Uttar Pradesh, violence against women is a recognized issue—the media
is talking about it, the government is referring cases to us. But the biggest
success is that women have started feeling that they are not alone. I believe
that no man is born violent. Men can change, but they need much support.”
Forwarded by:
Cynthia Stephen
Independent Researcher and writer
Bangalore, India
