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In case you needed further proof that the human
race is doomed
through stupidity,here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sear's hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how ...?) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But its "just" a suggestion) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.) On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." ( Step 3: Fly Delta.) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My Gosh!) |
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