> > Chance is the pseudonym God uses when He'd rather not sign His own name. > > > > Profanity is the one language all programmers know best. > > > > Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and > > obeys the second law of thermodynamics; i.e. it always increases. > > > > We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated. > > > > Confucius say: He who play in root, eventually kill tree. > > > > Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == > > Dec25 > > > > 'INSERT DISK THREE'? But I can only get two in the drive! > > > > 2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2. > > > > A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train > stops. > > On my desk I have a workstation. > > > > A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. > > > > According to my calculations, this problem doesn't exist. > > > > Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the > > ones in movies. > > > > As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, > > and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. > > > > ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI ! > > > > BASIC programmers never die, they GOSUB and don't RETURN. > > > > Computer are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open > windows. > > > > Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and > when > > it is bad, it is better than nothing. > > > > DOS never says 'EXCELLENT command or filename'. > > > > ERROR: Computer possessed; Load EXOR.SYS ? [Y/N] > > > > File not found. Should I fake it ? (Y/N) > > > > God is real, unless declared integer. > > > > If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming > must > > be the process of putting them in. > > > > If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL. > > > > If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you > > teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime. > > > > It's a little known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages. > > > > Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it. > > > > Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer. > > > > Programmer /n./ A red eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with > > inanimate objects. > > > > Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code. > > > > Programming is like sex: one mistake and you're providing support for a > > lifetime. > > > > Smith & Wesson-the original point and click interface. > > > > Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest > of > > the week debugging Monday's code. > > > > The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. > > > > The more I C, the less I see. > > > > There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We > don > > 't believe this to be a coincidence. > > > > To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer. To create > > utter chaos with no perceivable possibility of salvation calls for an MBA. > > > > When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. > > > > Win95 not found, [P]arty, [C]elebrate, [D]rink?
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