The following are all replies that have been included
on British Child Support Agency forms in the section for
listing father's details:
 
~ Regarding the identity of the father of my twins.
Child A was fathered by [name removed]. I am unsure
as to the identity of the father of child B, but I
believe that he was conceived on the same night.
 
~ I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my
child as I was being sick out of a window when I was
taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you
with a list of names of men that I think were at the
party if this helps.
 
~ I do not know the name of the father of my little
girl. She was conceived at a party [address and date
given] where I had unprotected sex with a man I
met that night. I do remember that the sex was so
good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down
the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.
 
~ I don't know the identity of the father of my
daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by
my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps
you can contact BMW service stations in this area and
see if he's had it replaced.
 
~ I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a
letter from the Pope confirming that my son's
conception was immaculate and that he is Christ
risen again. {Good luck on this one, Miss!}
 
~ I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he
informs me that to do so would blow his cover and
that would have cataclysmic implications for the
British economy. I am torn between doing right by you
and by my country. Please advise.
 
~ I do not know who the father of my child was as all
squaddies {soldiers} look the same to me. I can
confirm that he was wearing a Royal Green Jacket.
 
~ [name given] is the father of child A. If you do
catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my
AC/DC cds? {Such priorities!}
 
~ From the dates it seems that my daughter was
conceived at Euro Disney. Maybe it really is the Magic
Kingdom.
 
~ So much about that night is a blur. The only thing
I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about
eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd stayed in and
watched more TV rather than going to the party at
[address given], mine might have remained
unfertilized.

 

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