Texas Medley
(Lennon/Mc Cartney Lyrics Adapted By Frank Zappa)
(a) Norwegian Jim (Norwegian Wood)
(b) Louisiana Hooker With Herpes (Lucy In The Sky)
(c) Texas Motel (Strawberry Fields)
(a) Norwegian Jim (Norwegian Wood)
(That's right!)
Jim... once had a girl, or should we say, she once had he.
She... showed him her room, isn't it swell, Texas Motel.
She asked him to stay and she told him to sit anywhere.
So Jim looked around and he noticed there wasn't a prayer.
Jim... took off his rug, biding his time, pounding his pud.
He... prayed until two, and then she said, "How 'bout some head?"
(Everybody!)
She said she was booked in the morning with Falwell and Pat.
Jim told her he wasn't, and dribbled some spoo in her lap.
And... when he awoke, he was alone, she'd honed his cone.
So... he let her fly, isn't it swell, Texas Motel
(b) Louisiana Hooker with Herpes (Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds)
(Meanwhile...)
Picture yourself with a whore in New Orleans,
with big purple welts, all over her bod.
Suddenly someone, you answer quite slowly,
It's the board from Assembly O' God.
Ignorant crackers like you've never seen, groveling under your bed.
Search for the girl with the spoo in her lap, and she's gone!
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Owwww!
We saw her go down to a room near the airport
Where Jimmy gets off watching pornographie
Everyone smiles as we tread through his horseshit
That grows so incredibly high.
Newspaper writers appear at his door, waiting to take Jim away
He climbs in the back with his head up his ass, and he's gone!
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Owwww!
Picture yourself on your own TV station
With brain-dead supporters with tears in their eyes
Suddenly someone is there at commercial,
The girl with the pee-hole surprise
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Owwww! Ow!
(Everybody!)
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
(That's Right!)
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Owwww! Ow!
(c) The Texas Motel (Strawberry Fields)
(Then Jimmy looks over to the hooker
And he says, very tenderly of course...)
Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel
Don't mind the smell
It's nothing to get hung about
Please leave your cash on the table
Weeping looks better with eyes closed...
While I'm confessing all my sins
(Oh, I've sinned so much, please forgive me!)
It's getting hard to plook someone, but it all works out.
It's all pornography to Jim.
Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel
We might go to hell
But we'll have lots of company
Falwell and Pat and that weasel
No one knows who's in my dream...
I mean it must be high or low.
That is, I can't you know, tune in, but it's all right.
(I mean that.)
That is, I think it's not too bad.
(Actual testimony of John Poindexter)
Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel
Don't mind the smell
It's just some jizz from Jimmy-boy
How 'bout some hay for the donkey?
No one knows, sometimes think it's me...
But you know, I know when it's a dream.
I think I know, I think, ah yes, but it's all wrong
(Actual testimony...)
That is, I think I disagree.
(...of Ed Meese.)
Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel
Don't mind the smell
It's just some old pornography
Just keep on strokin' that sausage
Just keep on strokin' that sausage
(Jimmy-boy!) Just keep on strokin' that sausage
Victor Johnson
http://www.cdbaby.com/victorjohnson
"Velveteen rabbits and moonbeams,
Come when you lay down your head.
While you are sleeping, they kiss you and tell you,
That you are the reason the sun lights the sky."
Scarlet-V. Johnson
