In a message dated 1/5/02 2:41:03 AM, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: > >yes it was complicated but still inappropriate. It has to do with boundaries >and power and lots of stuff that would need a book to explain!(i am sure you know >that anyhow)
I actually don't think it's complicated. Fathers should not have sex with their daughters. Some do - and unfortunately, some boys are sexually abused as well. The worst example of this of course is a father who rapes his young child, who is too young to know what's going on. Whenever there is a big difference in age between the man and the woman (say, 20 years or more) there is the risk of it being more like a father-daughter relationship. Plus, Soon Yi was quite young when Woody came into her life and he did serve as at least a sort of substitute father for a while. Plus Mia was her adopted mother, making the whole thing worse - a man who goes from a mother to a daughter has some kind of problem. Then the sexual relationship started when she was pretty young - legally of age, but quite young and certainly a lot younger than he was. Unless he was abusing her before that, which is the question in my mind. There are other cases of abuse of sexual power in a relationship that can get people in trouble. That's why doctors, ministers, priests, and therapists should not have sex with their parishioners/patients. As Colin said, the difference in power is too great. What Woody did, if the relationship is really mutual (hard to believe given the difference in ages but possible) and also if he didn't sexually abuse Soon Yi growing up, is not illegal but is unsavory. It reminds me of the practice of young girls of say 15 or younger marrying much older men, which still happens in some cultures. The parents arrange the marriage so the girl doesn't really have a choice. This also sort of reminds me of polygamy, which is also a situation where young girls are married to much older men and the man is obviously the one in control. My only experience of polygamy fortunately is reading about it. It sounds awful though. Far worse than Woody and Soon Yi is an unfortunate girl I read about who was raped by her stepfather. This girl's mother divorced the stepfather, who then married the girl - she was 13 when they married. She had 4 children with him. I believe this was a true story (reported in a book called Healing the Incest Wound by Courtois) that happened within the last 30 years. The kind of thing that makes you wonder how civilized we are after all. Mary K People hurry by so quickly Don't they hear the melodies In the chiming and the clicking And the laughing harmonies - Joni Mitchell
