[For those of you not familiar with the World Weekly News, it's a surrealistic version of the weekly tabloid, making essentially no attempt at verification, as you can tell from the following... Strange typos may be from the original, or from repeated forwardings. Enjoy -- Walt]
World Weekly News SADDAM'S GAY LOVER TELLS ALL! - WITH PHOTO PROOF! 'Iraqi dictator isn't the man he pretends to be' By VINCENZO SARDI PARIS -- Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein has split from his longtime gay lover after a bitter public spat -- and now the flamboyant dictator's ex-boyfriend is telling all the juicy detailsof the breakup! "Saddam treated me like dirt," angry Terry Hammell, now 36, said in a world-exclusive interview. "He used me as a sexual plaything for years and then, when he decided I was getting too old, he tossed measide like some used Kleenex. He just broke my heart." Spurned Terry cataloged his much-older lover's misdeeds, claiming that Saddam: Forced him to dress up for bizarre "role play" games, including "Cellmates in a Turkish Prison," "Patient and Nurse" and "Sultan and Harem Boy." Subjected him to "daily bare-bottomed spankings." Made him work out four hours a day to maintain a lean, sexy body. Cheated on him repeatedly with hunky soldiers from the elite Republican Guard. Verbally abused him when he gained weight, mockingly calling him "my little sow." Infected him with at least three sexually transmitted diseases.French-born Terry says that when the relationship began well overa decade ago, he thought he'd met the man of his dreams. "I was just 25 at the time and I was flattered by the attention,"he says. "We would walk hand in hand in the palace gardens and make love onthe rooftop under the stars. Or sometimes we'd just take bubble bathstogether and watch old gladiator movies. "It didn't bother me that Saddam insisted on staying in thecloset. I knew he had his macho image to maintain and I was contentto stay in the background." But the romance began to sour as Terry hit 30 and started losinghis youthful waistline. "For a long time, I tried to ignore the lustful looks Saddam gavetroops on parade, and the rumors that he was sleeping with several ofhis handsome military aides," he says. But it became impossible to ignore the gossip when, in December,Terry caught the tubby, mustachioed despot romancing a rosy-cheekedyoung corporal under his desk. That night, the sweethearts had an angry confrontation at a packeddiplomatic ball. "I accused Saddam flat out of cheating on me -- and he slapped meright in the face," recalls Terry. "As I stood there, crying my eyesout, he called me a 'silly @#$*&.' "He said he was the most powerful man in the Middle East and wouldsleep with whoever he pleased. I finally ran out, weeping." Fearing reprisals, Terry fled the country and has taken refuge inhis native Paris.
