In a message dated 5/12/02 11:00:17 AM, AsharaJM writes: << Thanks, guys. I just found out today that i may have toxoplasmosis in my brain, which would explain my walking like a drunk and not being able to think of words all the time -- or there may be a brain tumor. >>
Walt, This is TERRIBLE news!!! I am really concerned for you. Please keep me posted. Sending you lots of healing energy. >> Ashara -- thanks, belated, for the healing energy. They were able to rule out toxo, but two days after a CT (cat scan) was unable to find any evidence of a brain [pause for laughter and applause], my neurologist ordered an MRI [the technologist, a sweet young guy, asked if I'd had one before; I said no; he asked if I had any questions; I said "since this test uses magnetic waves, will I be inclined to turn north when I leave the building?"; he examined my face carefully to see if I was kidding; I said, "I mean, am i gonna walk to Sausalito or something?"; finally he smiled and said it was best if i stopped when i got to the piers in the Marina.] If the MRI fails to locate a brain, they'll probably resort to sticking a microscope in my ear -- my fear is that it will fall in and come out my mouth. Okay, enough kidding -- all of this will probably result in their ruling out brain tumor(s), micro-strokes, abscess(es) or whatever other horror they can think up. What started all this was the fact that I suddenly started crashing into walls when I tried walking without meticulously planning it out -- I crashed into walls *particularly* in my own home -- I walk more carefully outside, just like most people do -- so now at home I walk like Mr. Burns on the Simpsons, leaning forward with hands extended. The nerves on my right hand and foot are pretty much gone, and the nerves on the left extremities are nearly so -- this was caused by years on toxic drugs to keep me alive. So now, I've dropped one of the antivirals, and with any luck, the nerves will sloooooowly come back over the next 2-5 years, or my body will find a way around the dead nerves with other nerves, with similar results. My past experience is that the sense of feeling comes back faster than they warn you; they're told to be pessimists. What concerns my neurologist is not the extreme neuropathy, but its asymmetry; ironically, I wasn't even *aware* of this asymmetry -- I was concerned about my occasional fogginess -- inability to think of extremely common nouns and verbs (technically: transient dysphasia) when speaking, which was unbelievably irritating, even frightening, for someone like me -- I mean, I've never been strong or good-looking, my mind is all I have. Anybody else would have been alarmed by wall-crashing and phantom bruises, but no, not me, I freak out when I can't think of the word "twine". So, now I'm waiting to hear if they've found a brain yet -- the MRI is more detailed and newer, so it may be a week before I hear from them. Anyone who wants -- I'll keep you posted. Oh, and I have every intention of attending the Joni-fest -- Anne has to teach the songwriting workshop, and I have to take it, if either or both of us has to be rolled in. Love, and thanks for everyone's concerns and well wishes, Walt Breen in SF
