>Cat Haikus > >You never feed me. >Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. >That will sure show you. > >You must scratch me there! >Yes, above my tail! >Behold, elevator butt. > >The rule for today >Touch my tail, I shred your hand. >New rule tomorrow. > >In deep sleep hear sound >Cat vomit, hairball somewhere >Will find in morning. > >Grace personified. >I leap into the window. >I meant to do that. > >Blur of motion, then >silence, me, a paper bag. >What is so funny? > >The mighty hunter >Returns with gifts of plump birds >Your foot just squashed one. > >You're always typing. >Well, let's see you ignore my >sitting on your hands. > >My small cardboard box. >You cannot see me if I >can just hide my head. > >Terrible battle. >I fought for hours. Come and see! >What's a 'term paper'? > >Cat likes plastic >Confuses for litter box >Don't leave tarp around > >Small brave carnivores >Kill pine cones and mosquitoes >Fear vacuum cleaner > >I want to be close to you. >Can I fit my head >inside your armpit? > >Wanna go outside. >Oh, no! Help! I got outside! >Let me back inside! > >Oh no! Big One >has been trapped by newspaper! >Cat to the rescue! > >Humans are so strange. >Mine lies still in bed, then screams >My claws are not that sharp. > >Cats cry out of angst >"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs! >We could break so much!" > >Litter box not here >You must have moved it again >I'll crap in the sink > >The Big Ones snore now >Every room is dark and cold >Time for "Cup Hockey" > >We're almost equals >I purr to show I love you >Want to smell my butt?