expressions NJC

[colin]

up in the north east where John comes from they say,as an expression of surprise/shock:
'well, i'll go to the foot of our stairs'. Goddess knows what that means!

In Australia they say 'i'll be buggered'(or go to buggery) a lot which reminds of the folllowing:

a zoo keeper goes up to another zookeeper and complains:
your elephants keep buggering my turtles.

the second one say'that iisn't possible.
the first one say'come and see for yourself.

so off they follow to where the elphants roam freely near a lake which also has trutles.

As they were watching an elephant, whilst walking, squashes one of the turtles.
'see,' says the first zookeeper, 'that's another one buggered'.