While visiting England recently, Jean Chretien is invited to have tea
with the Queen. Given his recent political problems, he decides to take
advantage of her years of leadership experience and asks her what her
leadership philosophy is. She responds that it is to surround herself
with the most intelligent people she can find and let them do their jobs.
Intrigued with this novel theory, Chretien asks her how she is able
to tell if the people are intelligent. "I do so by asking them a test
question," responds the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate." The Queen then
dials 10 Downing Street and asks to speak to Tony Blair. "Mr. Prime
Minister, please answer a hypothetical question for me." "I'll do my
best, Your Majesty," responds Blair. "Your mother has a child and your
father has a child," says the Queen. "The child is not your brother or
your sister. Who is the child?" Tony Blair hesitates momentarily and
then confidently replies, "Well, Your Majesty, I guess it would have to
be me." "Correct," says the Queen. "Thank you and good day to you Sir."
The Queen hangs up and says, "Did you hear that Mr. Chretien? See how
clever he is." Impressed, Chretien replies, "I certainly did. I'll
definitely be using that one when I conduct my next Cabinet shuffle back
in Canada."
Upon returning to Ottawa, Chretien decides he'd better put some of
his senior Cabinet Ministers to the test. He summons Sheila Copps to his
office and says, " Madame Minister, I wonder if you could answer a
question for me?" "Why of course, Sir," Copps responds eagerly,
impressed that the Prime Minister was actually seeking her input on
something. "Well, uh, let's say your mother has a child and your father
has a child. This child is not your brother and also is not your
sister. Who is it?" Somewhat surprised at this odd question, Copps hems
and haws and finally asks if she can have some time to think about it.
"Certainly," responds Chretien.
Copps immediately calls a meeting of other senior Liberals and
they puzzle over the question for several hours. Totally baffled, they
decide to conduct some research and contact a loyal Quebec consulting
firm. A budget of $10 million is provided and intensive research is
carried out over the next two weeks. Unfortunately, the consultants are
unable to come up with an answer. Desperate to impress her boss, Copps
decides to take a chance and calls Stephen Harper, who just happens to
be in his office on Parliament Hill. "I realize you are just an Alberta
redneck and are not all that wise in the ways of the world, but maybe you
can help me out with a problem I have. I will certainly make it worth your
while. I can guarantee your consituency a couple of hundred million, at
least, in goverment spending over the next year."
Harper is naturally sceptical about Liberal promises, but in the
spirit of political co-operation he agrees to do what he can to help
out. "O.K., here goes," says Copps. "Your mother has a child and your
father has a child. The child is not your brother or your sister. Who is
the child?" Without hesitating, Harper responds, "It would be me, of
course."
Impressed at the Albertan's quick response, Copps quickly brushes
off Harper and rushes to the Prime Minister's office. " I know the
answer to your question, Sir!! I know who the child is!!" Chretien, who
was privately becoming a bit concerned at the delay in hearing back from
Copps, is delighted. "Who is it, Sheila?" he asks.
With obvious pride, Copps replies "It's Stephen Harper, Sir- it's
Stephen Harper!!"
Stunned, Chretien shouts in disgust, "Wrong, wrong, wrong - it's
Tony Blair!!"
