Hi John! > -----Original Message----- > From: iesg <[email protected]> On Behalf Of John Scudder via Datatracker > Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2022 7:06 PM > To: The IESG <[email protected]> > Cc: [email protected]; [email protected] > Subject: John Scudder's No Objection on charter-ietf-jose-02-00: (with > COMMENT) > > John Scudder has entered the following ballot position for > charter-ietf-jose-02-00: No Objection > > When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all email > addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this introductory > paragraph, however.) > > > > The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/charter-ietf-jose/ > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > COMMENT: > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Basically LGTM. There was one paragraph I found a little stilted, I provide > some > suggestions below. Take 'em or leave 'em, up to you. > > While this sentence is grammatical, IMO it's a little denser to parse than it > needs to be: "Concurrent to the growth of adoption of these standards to > express and communicate sensitive data has been an increasing societal focus > on privacy." Perhaps something like this instead? "As adoption of these > standards to express and communicate sensitive data has grown, so too has an > increasing societal focus on privacy." (Arguably "grown ... increasing" is > redundant and "increasing" could be dropped but I don't think it hurts if you > want to emphasize by repetition.) > > For similar reasons maybe reword "Common privacy themes in identity > solutions are user consent, minimal disclosure, and unlinkability." For > example, > "User consent, minimal disclosure, and unlinkability are common privacy > themes in identity solutions."
Thanks for these suggestions. I merged them into 02-01. Roman _______________________________________________ jose mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/jose
