Please read Luke 23:34
lots of Luv & Prayers,
Ashish
From: donald decruz <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: [JOYnet] a true story...donald
Date: Tue, 21 Aug 2001 15:10:26 +0100 (BST)
This happened in a western country(not mentioning the
name)
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he
could hardly
speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he
had done. The
monsignor replied, "When I am worried about
getting nervous on the
pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water
glass. If I start
to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignors advice. At
the beginning of
the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He
proceeded to talk
up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he
found the following
note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his
ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late
J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not
referred to as Daddy,
Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit
out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off
his donkey, don't
say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper
he said, "Take
this and eat it for it is my body." He did not
say "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the
Cherry."
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not:
Rub-A- Dub-Dub
thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling
contest at St.
Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St.
Taffy's
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