Well I don’t know how far the discussion reg dowry has reached as I still have many unread mails due to heavy work schedule .But I still wanna add a few pts of to this Topic ..thank u Priya joy ,,,she has been asking me to write at Jy esp. abt this very topic. She says wants to hear from the Goan Gal of Jy . So my dear Jys Here I Open my big mouth : We Goenkars (goans ) have something called DENE (Konkani word).English Word trousseau—Getup of the Bride The Real & meaning being(at least for me ) : Dowry Goan gals at a very young age are taught to collect things for Dene .Every small thing is collected for the Dene There is something else that accompanies Dene called "BOL".A sweet given to the husbands folks as that they can distribute the same to whole village after marriage (hey guys I am talking abt village ok) In Mumbai no one has the time for this.Accompanying Bols (which r Jaggerey & coconut & flour sweets) are given bananas Hey what’s the big deal one may say???Only sweets na ??? BOL & bananas make a great Deal when they are demanded in thousands Imagine thousands of Bananas & Bols .What a pity !!!!!This is no cheesy affair But Dene is a compulsory part of the tradition of the wedding .So it remains standard every where .Its usually taken a day before the marriage that the gals take it to her to be in laws place.Her things are then displayed ..,,,relatives & friends are invited to have a look at the things .The things that are displayed are from Gold…to beauty aids ..clothes ..furniture sanitary ware etc.There are various comments passed out there . .Some old aunty will then pass a comment.." This chocker seems to be light"…."Ohh just 6 bangles".Then the money on the Table kept is closely observed by many ."KAI VORNO NA" (..she taken nothing ) is heard most of the time . Some young gals will come to check out for the latest things ..Pattern of the dress.. What make up kit??? …The number of Pillow covers the bride is taking ..what pattern for the crochet ???The things are then taken to her husbands place .Its the same displayable procedure there too….In fact here is where the real scrutiny takes place …If there is match in the demands the brides people are taken inside a room & given a “Mouth Full:” What a pity!!!!!I have seen this happening in my family too .In fact there are instances where I have seen my uncles crying for the same .Anyway this is as far demands are not met. But In case of the things are up to the satisfactory level…the Brides folks can expect some respect from the Groom side. When I look back & think on all this .. I often ask find me asking my ownself.Does this type of behavior beseem us Christians -the followers of Christ . I ask my people around y this show .They tell me its not a dowry system …its Just Trousseau ....all this is for the Gal na . For me ..there is no difference betn a Trousseau (dene) & dowry…. If this so called Trousseau or dowry (what soever it may be) can cause pain & grudges & fights at the weddings ,, ,does this at all comes from GOD???? Hey I personally feel that this comes from none other then DEVIL ,,,yaar…… The mails, I read earlier talked a lot abt things happening in Kerela.Whether its Kearla or Goa it’s ..is the same Parents pain & tears everywhere.
Well I am not against any tradition Or culture ..They are good as long as there is there is peace & joy.. (the gifts of the Holy Spirit) around . As for me.. I think it a high time to break these Sickening Rules .MY personal things are mine ..no one has the right to comment abt what I am taking to my new House .I have taken the first step against practice ..pls keep me in your prayers ..i need them ..cos its not so easy as I think to break a Tradition . (Jesus also had a hard time breaking evil traditions too) What all I have written is a just a general & my personal view ..I know of Guys & gals who have Had The courage To say NO to this system.. Praise God for the same!!!!!!1 But All boils down to one Fact . IT’S THE MAN & the WOMAN in marriage .They are the one who can MAKE or MAR the sanctity of marriage . In Jesus Welchy Mumbai (Hey I am open to corrections ..!!!!) Send your FREE holiday greetings online! http://greetings.yahoo.com **************************************************************** This mail is generated from JOYnet, a Jesus Youth mailing list. To unsubscribe, send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] To subscribe to this mailing list, visit http://www.jesusyouth.org/joynet For automatic help, send a mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] In case of any issue related to the mailing list contact [EMAIL PROTECTED] ****************************************************************
