First of all we should love always, no beginning or end. So there is no question of love before or after marriage. The question is what type of love it should be if it is before marriage? We can classify love according to our relationship like, Paternal, Maternal, Brotherly or Sisterly, Marital etc.
From this list the marital love is to be shared between the Husband and Wifeonly, beginning from the sacrament of Matrimony.
If the love between lovers is brotherly or sisterly it is fine, but if it is marital then too early or immature and sinful. If you dont have the patience to wait until your marriage then where is the sacrificial part in that love?
Where can we find lovers? In high school, sometimes boys and girls exchange love letters. In College they roam around and find more time for personal relationship. There are cases of one way traffic (love) or traffic jam (more lovers). The funny part is, later most of them get married with somebody else.
In some western countries it is shame, if you dont have a boyfriend or girlfriend. The teenage abortion cases also are higher there. In the east if it is oral in the west it is physical but both are same.
The surprising thing is even some spiritual leaders consider the romantic part of marital love as a part of growth and is allowed to the youth to enjoy it up to certain extend, without any guilty conscience.(The influence of modern psychology in the church???) That means you can enjoy sex before marriage with somebody other than your Husband or Wife (either Oral or Physical).
Then what Jesus told, But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matt 5:28)
What about attraction? It is not a case of only unmarried. Even married people have attraction over the opposite sex. But that attraction should not lead to lust. If a married man looks lustfully, he is cheating his wife. But if an unmarried man looks lustfully, he is cheating his future wife.
Love & Gods plan
Imagine you found a beautiful girl. You liked her and want to get married with her. You passed this message to her, and she also agreed it. Then you prayed to the Lord, Lord help me to get married with her. But the Lord says, my dear son, I have already selected somebody else for you, so please forget her.
What will be your reaction?
Sebastian - Kuwait
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