I can't imagine my situation is very unique so I must be failing to
see the trees through the forest.

1) We have a site that has a number of JQuery style event handlers.
By this I mean we use the ready to apply event bindings based on jq
selectors.
2) We have 3rd party JS which we have no control over.  Some of it has
a tendency to load slowly.  In addition it depends on document.write.

So when the 3rd party code runs slow it delays the JQ ready which
means our page is largely rendered, but the event handling is broken.
This results in a horrible UX.  I can't AJAX load the script and eval
it because then then the document.write will produce is content out of
the intended context of the DOM.  I have been trying to use regular
DOM methods to add the script element in the correct location at the
end of the JQ ready so it happens after the events are bound without
luck so far.

Do any of the experienced JQ users have a recommendation on how to
handle 3rd party widgets and event binding?

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