<< A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to
tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back
and one by one began to tell their stories. Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we
have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a
basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a
bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess." "And
what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. Don't put all your eggs
in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?" "Our family are farmers
too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but
when they hatched we only got ten live chicks." "And the moral to this story is,
don't count your chickens until they're hatched." "That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny
do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my
Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a
pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail out over enemy territory and
all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He
drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in
the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until
he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade
broke and then
he killed the last ten with his bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified
teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story? '
"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's drunk." >>
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